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Test Tube Jokes

What's the best part of being a test tube baby?

You get a womb with a view

Scientists have finally managed to grow human vocal cords in a test tube

The results speak for themselves

Four worms were placed in four separate test tubes

The first was filled with beer, the second with wine, the third with whiskey, and the last with water.

The next day, the teacher shows the results:

- Worm in beer: dead
- Worm in wine: dead
- Worm in whiskey: dead
- Worm in water: alive

The teacher asks, "Wh...

A farmer is trying to grow hydroponic potatoes, but he starts them in test tubes. This results in the potatoes being long with a round bulge at the top, so they look like male genitals.

The farmer tries to sell them to anyone and eventually even posts them online, where he surprisingly starts getting more orders than he can fill; and all from Russia. He’s surprised but grows another batch and they sell out again. He starts worrying there might be something illegal going on so he go...

Sometimes, when Mother’s Day comes around, I feel bad for all those test tube babies

…who didn’t have a mother.

But then I remember they got a womb with a view.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call the world's sexiest test tube baby?

Danny DeVitro

2 test tubes

‘We have two test tubes here,’ said the professor of IVF studies from Monash University. ‘They contain two carefully synthesized ingredients that we can now use to create human life. Solution A is a genetically engineered copy of all the ingredients in the female ovum, while Solution B replicates th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the worst thing about being a test tube baby?

... knowing your dad's a wanker

40 years ago today, Louise Brown became the first test tube baby...

She had a womb with a view.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My chemist wife sometimes uses a test tube as a dildo

She likes it but I think its fucking vial

Why did the test tube go to college?

To become a graduated cylinder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wrong bank

A man walks into a sperm bank with a ski mask and a .45 pointed at the woman behind the counter."Open the safe " .The woman pleads "Sir is not that kind of Bank". "Open the safe and remove the contents" . She removed a test tube tray full of sperm samples. The man puts the gun in the woman's face an...

Why are test tube manufacturers always single?

People just seem to find them vial!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A masked robber enters a bank...

A masked robber enters a Sperm Bank with a gun and starts pointing it at one of the nurses.

The masked robber points to a test tube on the counter and asks the nurse, "What is this liquid?"

"Um... This is the semen that was just donated to us."

"Drink it!"

"No! Why??"
...

Armed man storms into a sperm bank wearing a ski mask

He shouts "**everybody hit the floor!**" and shoots his gun twice at the ceiling. Everybody hits the floor in muffled panic. He then approaches the main desk and accosts the lady behind the counter:

\- **you! bank lady! where is the storage vault?**

\+ it's downstairs but--

\- ...

A scientist is dining with a duke one day...

A scientist is dining with a duke one day, talking of chemistry and such. All is going well until the duke rings a bell and demands a test tube from his butler, who brings it to him forthwith. The duke sticks it in his pants, lets loose a thunderous fart, then caps the tube and hands it to the shock...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man bursts into a sperm bank, wearing a mask and weilding a gun.

He goes to the woman behind the counter, puts the gun in her face and screams "OPEN THE VAULT!" She timidly stammers, "Sir, this is a sperm bank. There's no money..." He cocks the gun and screams, "I SAID OPEN IT!!!" She reluctantly leads him to the big freezer, "see" she says, "it's just test tubes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] A scientist is giving keynote speech about dissolvable food for babies

"Imagine if we lived in a world where you no longer had to worry about your children eating and getting food stuck in their airways...'

Gasps of amazement come from the crowd

"Imagine if they could still enjoy all of their favourite foods without any danger and don't need to be constan...

A funny thing happened at the lab

A seventy-four year old medical researcher went to the doctor after having a seeming unexplainable illness that had lasted for several days.

After describing her symptoms, the doctor performed a series of tests and then reached a diagnosis.

The doctor said, "I am not sure how to tell y...

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