UPJOKE
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Pointless Jokes

Jokes without punchlines are pointless,

and incomplete sentences are annoying,
but together

eBay is so pointless

I tried to search up lighters and all they had was 18,063 matches

My wife and I had this long pointless argument as to which vowel is the most important.

I won.

If you ever think your job is pointless...

... think about the guy mounting turn signals on BMWs

If you ever feel like your life is meaningless and pointless

Just remember that someone out there is fitting indicators on BMWs

You know what’s pointless?

A hand with no fingers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"It's impossible" said Pride. "It's risky" said Experience. "It's pointless" said Reason. "Give it a try" whispered Heart. (NSFW)

"What the hell is that!" screamed the anus.

What are the most pointless things in the world?

Spheres

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's pointless to make fun of people with constipation

They don't give a shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I would never vaccinate my kids. That is unnatural, dangerous, pointless, expensive and reckless.

I'd take them to the doctor to vaccinate them instead

| don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.

It's pointless.



But, anyway. You gotta draw the line somewhere, or
else people will think you're being irrational. But
that is beside the point.

Another pointless joke... What do you call a Jewish Knight?

Sir Cumcised

If some part of your job feels utterly pointless, remember

Putin campaigned for the 2018 elections.

Speed dating is pointless.

30 seconds aren't long enough to explain the benefits of functional programming in Haskell.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told this guy that nouns were pointless.

He said, "Give me a good reason, you cocksucker!"

I said, "Now now, there's no need for names."

Pointless joke of the day

A man was driving in the middle of nowhere down a secluded country road far from any cities. He got a flat tire, and got out to walk for help.After walking for some time, he came to a small stone monastery. He knocked on the door and roused the monks. "I've got a flat tire. Can I use your phone?" He...

A mathematician And an engineer decided to take part in an experiment.

They were both put in a room and at the other end was a naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said that every 30 seconds they could travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician stormed off, calling it pointless. The engineer was still in. The mathematician said “Don’...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What are the main differences between weed, alcohol, pizza, vagina, an inexpensive car, candy, porn, video games, pointless arguments on the internet and a healthy workout routine?

Well it’s simple really. People that browse r/jokes can acquire weed, alcohol, pizza, an inexpensive car, candy, video games, and pointless arguments on the internet !

Life without love is pointless....

Love without life is necrophilia

What did the triangle say to the circle?

You're pointless! (by the way, my 8 year old heard at school)

My stepdad told me it was pointless to apply to med-school because I was “too stupid to be a doctor”

8 years later and one of us is an unemployed loser with a drinking problem and the other is making six figures and going to Hawaii this weekend to renew his wedding vows with my mom.

Why is it pointless to throw scissors in a game of rock-paper-scissors against an illegal immigrant?

Because they don’t have papers.

Ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?

Well, never mind- it's pointless.

I tried to make a joke about safety scissors...

But it was pointless.

My wife left me for another man.

All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless life, with suicide seemingly the only way out.
And while he's going through all that, I'll be in the pub with my mates every night.

Why don’t people use fractions over decimals

Because they are pointless

I want to design a pencil with an eraser on both ends.

People say it’s pointless though.

Why do good programmers never put circles into their games?

Because no one likes pointless features.

The other day I had was in a heated debate about circles

It was a pointless argument.

What did the pencil say to the sharpener?

Without you, my life would be pointless.

Did you hear about the man who got depressed after he lost his favourite pencil sharpener?

Everything seemed pointless!

What is a uppercase 'i'?

Pointless.

Dad finds a BDSM toys set in his daughter's room

"Well, I'm assuming that punishing you is pointless..."

My girlfriend likes to pretend she's 13 in bed

i told her it was pointless, she'll turn 13 next year anyway

Courtesy of my 5 year old god son: knock knock

Who’s there ?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Never mind it’s pointless

Why do flat-Earthers think the Earth is flat?

Because if the Earth is round, their world would be pointless

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and life

They’re both pointless
*NYEH* *HEH* *HEH*

I made a pencil with two erasers

It was pointless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

What do you call a spike that's not spiky?

Pointless.

(This wit is from my 7 year old daughter. She told me this out of the blue. I'm so proud!!)

I took my kid to the pet store, and he wanted to get a porcupine who had lost all its quills.

I said, “That seems pointless.”

Maybe I should delete Reddit

because everytime I log in, I feel pointless.

What do my existence and an unsharpened pencil have in common?

They're both dull and pointless.

I made a pencil with two erasers.

It was pointless...

PS: I actually didn't, but it's my favourite bad joke, and it's my cake day, so I can do whatever I want!

Edit #1: If you didn't see my comment somehow, I feel scammed, because at the time of posting this, I yet had like 2 hours of my cake day left. I guess Reddit d...

I ordered a pen with an eraser on both sides

It was pointless

My Neighbor Is Trying To Argue That Spheres Have Corners

I don't listen to his ramblings because they're pointless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Got the point.

Having a non-nude nsfw Onlyfans account is like trying to feel boobs by grabbing an ass, it's pointless.

Triangle Circle Square

A triangle walks up to a circle and says “your pointless!” a square goes to the circle and says “you know he’s got a point.”
The circle says with a sad tone in his voice “actually square… he’s got 3.”

In a lot of sports, a ball is used.

But it's usually pointless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm really glad boobies have nipples....

If not they would be pointless..

Self-deprecation jokes are a lot like me.

Both are dumb, pointless, and laughed at by everyone else.

Thots are like circles.

Curvy, but pointless.

Why do they sell knives with a rounded end

They seem pointless

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