UPJOKE
superfluoussenselessbluntworthlessmeaninglessfoolishgame showwastedillogicalinconsequentialidioticabsurdludicrouslaughablefutile

Jokes without punchlines are pointless,

and incomplete sentences are annoying,
but together

What does a triangle call a circle?

Pointless.

You know whatโ€™s pointless?

A hand with no fingers.

My wife and I had this long pointless argument as to which vowel is the most important.

I won.

If you ever think your job is pointless...

... think about the guy mounting turn signals on BMWs

An expensive wedding ring is pointless

Well, it is circle, it literally has no point.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What are the main differences between weed, alcohol, pizza, vagina, an inexpensive car, candy, porn, video games, pointless arguments on the internet and a healthy workout routine?

Well itโ€™s simple really. People that browse r/jokes can acquire weed, alcohol, pizza, an inexpensive car, candy, video games, and pointless arguments on the internet !

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Tortoise and Rabbit. Antagonist view.

A different insight into the story of hare and tortoise:-

E๐’—๐’†๐’“๐’š๐’๐’๐’† ๐’•๐’‰๐’“๐’๐’–๐’ˆ๐’‰๐’๐’–๐’• ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’˜๐’๐’“๐’๐’… ๐’‰๐’‚๐’” ๐’Œ๐’†๐’‘๐’• ๐’ˆ๐’Š๐’—๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’†๐’™๐’‚๐’Ž๐’‘๐’๐’† ๐’๐’‡ ๐‘ป๐’๐’“๐’•๐’๐’Š๐’”๐’†โ€ฆ ๐‘บ๐’‚๐’š๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐’•๐’‰๐’‚๐’• ๐’”๐’๐’๐’˜ ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’”๐’•๐’†๐’‚๐’…๐’š ๐’˜๐’Š๐’๐’” ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’“๐’‚๐’„๐’†, ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’†๐’Ž๐’‘๐’‰๐’‚๐’”๐’Š๐’›๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ...

eBay is so pointless

I tried to search up lighters and all they had was 18,063 matches

What are the most pointless things in the world?

Spheres

Y'all hear the joke about the broken pencil?

Eh, it's pointless

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I would never vaccinate my kids. That is unnatural, dangerous, pointless, expensive and reckless.

I'd take them to the doctor to vaccinate them instead

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

โ€œItโ€™s impossible,โ€ said pride. โ€œItโ€™s risky,โ€ said experience. โ€œItโ€™s pointless,โ€said reason. โ€œGive it a try,โ€ said the heart,

"You're full of shit" said the bowels.

My step-dad told me it was pointless to apply to med school because "I was too stupid to be a doctor"

8 years later one of us is an unemployed loser with a drinking problem and the other is making six figures and going to Hawaii this weekend to renew his wedding vows with my mom.

Dad finds a BDSM toys set in his daughter's room

"Well, I'm assuming that punishing you is pointless..."

Why can't you write with a broken pencil ?

It's pointless.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

It's pointless to make fun of people with constipation

They don't give a shit.

Another pointless joke... What do you call a Jewish Knight?

Sir Cumcised

Did you hear about the man who got depressed after he lost his favourite pencil sharpener?

Everything seemed pointless!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I told this guy that nouns were pointless.

He said, "Give me a good reason, you cocksucker!"

I said, "Now now, there's no need for names."

If some part of your job feels utterly pointless, remember

Putin campaigned for the 2018 elections.

I don't understand...

I don't understand people who use fractions instead of decimals.

It's pointless.

I guess you have to draw the line somewhere,

or people will think you're irrational.

Whatโ€™s the similarity between a broken pencil and life

Theyโ€™re both pointless
*NYEH* *HEH* *HEH*

Pointless joke of the day

A man was driving in the middle of nowhere down a secluded country road far from any cities. He got a flat tire, and got out to walk for help.After walking for some time, he came to a small stone monastery. He knocked on the door and roused the monks. "I've got a flat tire. Can I use your phone?" He...

Why do flat-Earthers think the Earth is flat?

Because if the Earth is round, their world would be pointless

In a place without geometry...

...life is pointless.

My wife left me for another man.

All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless life, with suicide seemingly the only way out.
And while he's going through all that, I'll be in the pub with my mates every night.

Speed dating is pointless.

30 seconds aren't long enough to explain the benefits of functional programming in Haskell.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My grandad sent me this

Enjoy the fun & the pun.



Q: Can February March?

A: No. But April May!



Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalised?

A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes!



Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?

A: I better ...

I made a pencil with two erasers

It was pointless

A mathematician And an engineer decided to take part in an experiment.

They were both put in a room and at the other end was a naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said that every 30 seconds they could travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician stormed off, calling it pointless. The engineer was still in. The mathematician said โ€œDonโ€™...

I tried to make a joke about safety scissors...

But it was pointless.

What do you call a fingerless man pointing at someone?

Pointless

I took my kid to the pet store, and he wanted to get a porcupine who had lost all its quills.

I said, โ€œThat seems pointless.โ€

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

On a cold and rainy night

On a cold and rainy night during the era when traveling salesmen still pedaled goods door to door, Gary , a young English wallpaper representative breaks down on an Irish county road .Luckily ,there is a farm house not far from the road .As he is an englishman in Ireland , he cautiously makes his wa...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

What do my existence and an unsharpened pencil have in common?

They're both dull and pointless.

What do you call a spike that's not spiky?

Pointless.

(This wit is from my 7 year old daughter. She told me this out of the blue. I'm so proud!!)

What is a uppercase 'i'?

Pointless.

I made a pencil with two erasers.

It was pointless...

PS: I actually didn't, but it's my favourite bad joke, and it's my cake day, so I can do whatever I want!

Edit #1: If you didn't see my comment somehow, I feel scammed, because at the time of posting this, I yet had like 2 hours of my cake day left. I guess Reddit d...

Why do good programmers never put circles into their games?

Because no one likes pointless features.

A Polish man moves to Korea and tries to find work

He looks for work everywhere but canโ€™t find any, until after thorough searching he lands an interview at a car dealership. The man is interviewed by the boss, who not only has a poor grasp on English, but he also seems to have a very hard time getting his name right. The man tries to explain his nam...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A coworker told me I was a pedophile and said I probably had a van that said "Free Candy" on the side.

I told him that would be pointless. My target demographic can't read yet.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Reddit Karma is like women

At first, everyone seems to have it except you.

No one knows how they work but everyone want them.

It would look really hard to get it untill you finally get it unexpectedly, somehow.

A difference of opinion and you lose them.

But they give you a sense of value even after...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Got the point.

Having a non-nude nsfw Onlyfans account is like trying to feel boobs by grabbing an ass, it's pointless.

2 squares and 2 circles

2 squares were in an argument and 2 circles were in an argument.

The squares were arguing over who was hotter, even though they were both 90 degrees.

The 2 circles argue all the time so the argument was pretty pointless.

(Thought of this in the shower. Itโ€™s a little cheesy)

My Neighbor Is Trying To Argue That Spheres Have Corners

I don't listen to his ramblings because they're pointless.

I ordered a pen with an eraser on both sides

It was pointless

My girlfriend likes to pretend she's 13 in bed

i told her it was pointless, she'll turn 13 next year anyway

Self-deprecation jokes are a lot like me.

Both are dumb, pointless, and laughed at by everyone else.

Maybe I should delete Reddit

because everytime I log in, I feel pointless.

Courtesy of my 5 year old god son: knock knock

Whoโ€™s there ?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Never mind itโ€™s pointless

In a lot of sports, a ball is used.

But it's usually pointless.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I'm really glad boobies have nipples....

If not they would be pointless..

Thots are like circles.

Curvy, but pointless.

Pencils that aren't sharpened are ...

Pointless.

Why do they sell knives with a rounded end

They seem pointless

A math joke my teacher told me on Friday

A: I don't understand why people use fractions, they are pointless.
B: I mean... I like them, but you gotta know where to draw the line or people will think that you're irrational.
A: I still don't see the point I using them.

there once was a...

There once was a community in which there where the squares and the "jokes". the "jokes" were actually circles but were a minority and were often laughed at and segregated in the community, so they were called "jokes". One circle had enough of the ridicule from the squares and wanted to become a squ...

I hate it when people draw a circle or an oval...

I mean seriously, itโ€™s pointless.

I had decided to write a letter by hand the other day when my pencil broke.

I tried to finish but it was pointless.

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