UPJOKE
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Jokes without punchlines are pointless,

and incomplete sentences are annoying,
but together

You know what’s pointless?

A hand with no fingers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What are boobs without nipples?

Pointless

My wife and I had this long pointless argument as to which vowel is the most important.

I won.

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What are the main differences between weed, alcohol, pizza, vagina, an inexpensive car, candy, porn, video games, pointless arguments on the internet and a healthy workout routine?

Well it’s simple really. People that browse r/jokes can acquire weed, alcohol, pizza, an inexpensive car, candy, video games, and pointless arguments on the internet !

Did you hear about the man who got depressed after he lost his favourite pencil sharpener?

Everything seemed pointless!

I don't understand...

I don't understand people who use fractions instead of decimals.

It's pointless.

I guess you have to draw the line somewhere,

or people will think you're irrational.

What did the triangle say to the circle?

You’re pointless!

What are the most pointless things in the world?

Spheres

If you ever think your job is pointless...

... think about the guy mounting turn signals on BMWs

eBay is so pointless

I tried to search up lighters and all they had was 18,063 matches

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and life

They’re both pointless
*NYEH* *HEH* *HEH*

Why do flat-Earthers think the Earth is flat?

Because if the Earth is round, their world would be pointless

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I would never vaccinate my kids. That is unnatural, dangerous, pointless, expensive and reckless.

I'd take them to the doctor to vaccinate them instead

My step-dad told me it was pointless to apply to med school because "I was too stupid to be a doctor"

8 years later one of us is an unemployed loser with a drinking problem and the other is making six figures and going to Hawaii this weekend to renew his wedding vows with my mom.

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It's pointless to make fun of people with constipation

They don't give a shit.

If your job ever feels pointless...

just remember somebody is the fact checker for Buzz Feed.

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My grandad sent me this

Enjoy the fun & the pun.



Q: Can February March?

A: No. But April May!



Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalised?

A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes!



Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?

A: I better ...

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“It’s impossible,” said pride. “It’s risky,” said experience. “It’s pointless,”said reason. “Give it a try,” said the heart,

"You're full of shit" said the bowels.

Another pointless joke... What do you call a Jewish Knight?

Sir Cumcised

In a place without geometry...

...life is pointless.

I made a pencil with two erasers

It was pointless

I told my girlfriend to stop pretending to be 13 because it's creepy and pointless

She'll be thirteen next month anyways

If some part of your job feels utterly pointless, remember

Putin campaigned for the 2018 elections.

You want to hear the one about the broken pencil?

Nevermind, it’s pointless

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I told this guy that nouns were pointless.

He said, "Give me a good reason, you cocksucker!"

I said, "Now now, there's no need for names."

I tried to make a joke about safety scissors...

But it was pointless.

Pointless joke of the day

A man was driving in the middle of nowhere down a secluded country road far from any cities. He got a flat tire, and got out to walk for help.After walking for some time, he came to a small stone monastery. He knocked on the door and roused the monks. "I've got a flat tire. Can I use your phone?" He...

A mathematician And an engineer decided to take part in an experiment.

They were both put in a room and at the other end was a naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said that every 30 seconds they could travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician stormed off, calling it pointless. The engineer was still in. The mathematician said “Don’...

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On a cold and rainy night

On a cold and rainy night during the era when traveling salesmen still pedaled goods door to door, Gary , a young English wallpaper representative breaks down on an Irish county road .Luckily ,there is a farm house not far from the road .As he is an englishman in Ireland , he cautiously makes his wa...

My wife has left me for another man

All that lies ahead is a miserable, pointless and lonely existence.

And while he's going through that I'll be down the pub every night getting drunk.

I took my kid to the pet store, and he wanted to get a porcupine who had lost all its quills.

I said, “That seems pointless.”

What do you call a spike that's not spiky?

Pointless.

(This wit is from my 7 year old daughter. She told me this out of the blue. I'm so proud!!)

Here is a joke about a pencil with a broken tip.

Never mind it is pointless.

Speed dating is pointless.

30 seconds aren't long enough to explain the benefits of functional programming in Haskell.

Why do good programmers never put circles into their games?

Because no one likes pointless features.

I made a pencil with two erasers.

It was pointless...

PS: I actually didn't, but it's my favourite bad joke, and it's my cake day, so I can do whatever I want!

Edit #1: If you didn't see my comment somehow, I feel scammed, because at the time of posting this, I yet had like 2 hours of my cake day left. I guess Reddit d...

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What is common with my life and my dick

They both get extremely hard when I dont expect it

Also it's much shorter than I like and is pointless

Everyone else seems better than mine and

no one is interested in mine either

Why should you not write notes with a dull pencil?

Because it's pointless.

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A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

2 squares and 2 circles

2 squares were in an argument and 2 circles were in an argument.

The squares were arguing over who was hotter, even though they were both 90 degrees.

The 2 circles argue all the time so the argument was pretty pointless.

(Thought of this in the shower. It’s a little cheesy)

My Neighbor Is Trying To Argue That Spheres Have Corners

I don't listen to his ramblings because they're pointless.

A Polish man moves to Korea and tries to find work

He looks for work everywhere but can’t find any, until after thorough searching he lands an interview at a car dealership. The man is interviewed by the boss, who not only has a poor grasp on English, but he also seems to have a very hard time getting his name right. The man tries to explain his nam...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Got the point.

Having a non-nude nsfw Onlyfans account is like trying to feel boobs by grabbing an ass, it's pointless.

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Reddit Karma is like women

At first, everyone seems to have it except you.

No one knows how they work but everyone want them.

It would look really hard to get it untill you finally get it unexpectedly, somehow.

A difference of opinion and you lose them.

But they give you a sense of value even after...

I ordered a pen with an eraser on both sides

It was pointless

What is a uppercase 'i'?

Pointless.

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A coworker told me I was a pedophile and said I probably had a van that said "Free Candy" on the side.

I told him that would be pointless. My target demographic can't read yet.

Moscow in Winter

An American couple was being shown around Moscow one day, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
“I think it’s raining,” he said to his wife.
“No, I think that was snow”, she replied.
He insisted, “No, I’m sure it was just rain.”

Well, as couples are wont to do, they were about to ha...

In a lot of sports, a ball is used.

But it's usually pointless.

Self-deprecation jokes are a lot like me.

Both are dumb, pointless, and laughed at by everyone else.

A math joke my teacher told me on Friday

A: I don't understand why people use fractions, they are pointless.
B: I mean... I like them, but you gotta know where to draw the line or people will think that you're irrational.
A: I still don't see the point I using them.

Why do they sell knives with a rounded end

They seem pointless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm really glad boobies have nipples....

If not they would be pointless..

Thots are like circles.

Curvy, but pointless.

Maybe I should delete Reddit

because everytime I log in, I feel pointless.

What do my existence and an unsharpened pencil have in common?

They're both dull and pointless.

Courtesy of my 5 year old god son: knock knock

Who’s there ?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Never mind it’s pointless

there once was a...

There once was a community in which there where the squares and the "jokes". the "jokes" were actually circles but were a minority and were often laughed at and segregated in the community, so they were called "jokes". One circle had enough of the ridicule from the squares and wanted to become a squ...

I once saw a store with a big arrow above the door

The owner removed it. It was pointless.

What do you call a pencil with erasers on both sides?

Pointless, like your comments lol

whats the most useless shape?

circles because they are pointless

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