The 56+ Best Pointless Jokes

If you ever think your job is pointless, just remember...

You could be the guy who installs indicators on BMWs.

eBay is so pointless

I tried to search up lighters and all they had was 18,063 matches

My wife and I had this long pointless argument as to which vowel is the most important.

I won.

Jokes without punchlines are pointless,

and incomplete sentences are annoying,
but together

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"It's impossible" said Pride. "It's risky" said Experience. "It's pointless" said Reason. "Give it a try" whispered Heart. (NSFW)

"What the hell is that!" screamed the anus.

You know what’s pointless?

A hand with no fingers.

If you ever feel like your job is pointless...

Just remember that someone out there is in charge of installing turn signals on a BMW.

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What are the main differences between weed, alcohol, pizza, vagina, an inexpensive car, candy, porn, video games, pointless arguments on the internet and a healthy workout routine?

Well it’s simple really. People that browse r/jokes can acquire weed, alcohol, pizza, an inexpensive car, candy, video games, and pointless arguments on the internet !

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I would never vaccinate my kids. That is unnatural, dangerous, pointless, expensive and reckless.

I'd take them to the doctor to vaccinate them instead

What are the most pointless things in the world?

Spheres

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It's pointless to make fun of people with constipation

They don't give a shit.

My stepdad told me it was pointless to apply to med-school because I was “too stupid to be a doctor”

8 years later and one of us is an unemployed loser with a drinking problem and the other is making six figures and going to Hawaii this weekend to renew his wedding vows with my mom.

Another pointless joke... What do you call a Jewish Knight?

Sir Cumcised

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A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

If some part of your job feels utterly pointless, remember

Putin campaigned for the 2018 elections.

What is the most pointless thing ?

A sphere

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I told this guy that nouns were pointless.

He said, "Give me a good reason, you cocksucker!"

I said, "Now now, there's no need for names."

| don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.

It's pointless.

But, anyway. You gotta draw the line somewhere, or
else people will think you're being irrational. But
that is beside the point.

Pointless joke of the day

A man was driving in the middle of nowhere down a secluded country road far from any cities. He got a flat tire, and got out to walk for help.After walking for some time, he came to a small stone monastery. He knocked on the door and roused the monks. "I've got a flat tire. Can I use your phone?" He...

Speed dating is pointless.

30 seconds aren't long enough to explain the benefits of functional programming in Haskell.

A mathematician And an engineer decided to take part in an experiment.

They were both put in a room and at the other end was a naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said that every 30 seconds they could travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician stormed off, calling it pointless. The engineer was still in. The mathematician said “Don’...

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A coworker told me I was a pedophile and said I probably had a van that said "Free Candy" on the side.

I told him that would be pointless. My target demographic can't read yet.

Life without love is pointless....

Love without life is necrophilia

What did the triangle say to the circle?

You're pointless! (by the way, my 8 year old heard at school)

What is a uppercase 'i'?

Pointless.

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless.

My wife left me for another man.

All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless life, with suicide seemingly the only way out.
And while he's going through all that, I'll be in the pub with my mates every night.

What do my existence and an unsharpened pencil have in common?

They're both dull and pointless.

Why don’t people use fractions over decimals

Because they are pointless

I want to design a pencil with an eraser on both ends.

People say it’s pointless though.

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Tortoise and Rabbit. Antagonist view.

A different insight into the story of hare and tortoise:-

E𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒌𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝑻𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒐𝒊𝒔𝒆… 𝑺𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒛𝒊𝒏𝒈...

Y'all hear the joke about the broken pencil?

Eh, it's pointless

Knock knock...

"Who's there?"

"Broken pencil"

"Broken pencil, who?"

"Never mind, it's pointless"

The other day I had was in a heated debate about circles

It was a pointless argument.

What did the pencil say to the sharpener?

Without you, my life would be pointless.

Dad finds a BDSM toys set in his daughter's room

"Well, I'm assuming that punishing you is pointless..."

Did you hear about the man who got depressed after he lost his favourite pencil sharpener?

Everything seemed pointless!

Why do flat-Earthers think the Earth is flat?

Because if the Earth is round, their world would be pointless

My girlfriend likes to pretend she's 13 in bed

i told her it was pointless, she'll turn 13 next year anyway

Courtesy of my 5 year old god son: knock knock

Who’s there ?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Never mind it’s pointless

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and life

They’re both pointless
*NYEH* *HEH* *HEH*

Materialism

A Wall Street broker parked his brand new Lamborghini on the street at the front of his office so that all of his coworkers could see it and envy him. As he was opening the door, a cab flew by, clipped the door, and then kept going. The broker sat there for a moment in shock, staring through his w...

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My grandad sent me this

Enjoy the fun & the pun.

Q: Can February March?

A: No. But April May!

Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalised?

A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes!

Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?

A: I better ...

I made a pencil with two erasers

It was pointless

I made a pencil with two erasers.

It was pointless...

PS: I actually didn't, but it's my favourite bad joke, and it's my cake day, so I can do whatever I want!

Edit #1: If you didn't see my comment somehow, I feel scammed, because at the time of posting this, I yet had like 2 hours of my cake day left. I guess Reddit d...

I tried to make a joke about safety scissors...

But it was pointless.

What do you call a spike that's not spiky?

Pointless.

(This wit is from my 7 year old daughter. She told me this out of the blue. I'm so proud!!)

I took my kid to the pet store, and he wanted to get a porcupine who had lost all its quills.

I said, “That seems pointless.”

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On a cold and rainy night

On a cold and rainy night during the era when traveling salesmen still pedaled goods door to door, Gary , a young English wallpaper representative breaks down on an Irish county road .Luckily ,there is a farm house not far from the road .As he is an englishman in Ireland , he cautiously makes his wa...

Maybe I should delete Reddit

because everytime I log in, I feel pointless.

Why do good programmers never put circles into their games?

Because no one likes pointless features.

A Polish man moves to Korea and tries to find work

He looks for work everywhere but can’t find any, until after thorough searching he lands an interview at a car dealership. The man is interviewed by the boss, who not only has a poor grasp on English, but he also seems to have a very hard time getting his name right. The man tries to explain his nam...

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Reddit Karma is like women

At first, everyone seems to have it except you.

No one knows how they work but everyone want them.

It would look really hard to get it untill you finally get it unexpectedly, somehow.

A difference of opinion and you lose them.

But they give you a sense of value even after...

My Neighbor Is Trying To Argue That Spheres Have Corners

I don't listen to his ramblings because they're pointless.

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Got the point.

Having a non-nude nsfw Onlyfans account is like trying to feel boobs by grabbing an ass, it's pointless.

I ordered a pen with an eraser on both sides

It was pointless

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