Time Of The Month Jokes - 14 Hilarious Time Of The Month Jokes

Why is March through May the best time of the month to buy a mattresses?

It’s when they are the most springy.

It's my girlfriend's time of the month

And we decided to watch a movie.

She picked out Pride and Prejudice, and threw a HUGE fit when I said I didn't want to watch it.

I'm thinking of breaking up with her.

She knows I hate period drama.

So it's that time of the month,

And my wife says to me: "Correct me if I'm wrong, but cramping is your uterus shedding its lining, right?"

Laying on the couch in pain, I reply: "Yes, it's the muscles literally cramping to break up the lining and pass it... It's a weird flex but it's okay."

She's not happy with me rig...

My girlfriend is always bossy during that time of the month

We do as she says. Period.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a girl does a porno during her time of the month?

A period piece

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy takes his best mate home to meet his wife:

His wife screams, "You fucking dickhead, my hair and make-up are a mess, the house is a tip, the dishes aren't done, I'm still in my pyjamas, I can't be bothered to cook and it's my time of the month! Why the fuck did you bring him home? The husband replies "Because he is thinking of getting married...

We should not in any way, shape, or form make fun of female's time of the month

Period.

What did the Victorian wife say to her Victorian husband during that time of the month?

I don’t know; I don’t make period jokes.

Whelp! It’s that time of the month again. There is BLOOD everywhere...

Ugggh...I hate flossing.

My wife just flipped out at me for not being sympathetic about her time of the month

It was a complete ovary action.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy 'recruits' a hiregirl, taking her to a motel where, while he was taking the required shower, she discovered that it's 'that time of the month'

'*What am I gonna do*...' she wonders. '*I already took payment.. they guy's kindda cute... even I'd like to do it... I'll just turn off the lights. He won't notice, and by the time he wakes tomorrow, I'll be long gone!*'

Done deal. After a sexstorm of a night, the guy wakes up next to a ...

A dinosaur came to his wife

And said, - Darling, let's make love.

\- I can't - she says - I'm busy today.

Some time later, he came again and said - Darling, I want you.

\- Sorry - she said - I have a headache.

A few days later, he invites her again.

\- No dear - she answers. - Wrong time of t...

My girlfriend forgot my birthday.

"I lost track of days," she explained. "I blame my period."

"Oh c'mon," I scoffed, "how can you blame your period?"

And she responded, "Because during that time of the month, one day bleeds into the next."

When Cleopatra is aroused, she produces pharaoh-moans.

Unless it’s that time of the month that she’s on her pyramid.

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