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Thrift Store Jokes

I tried donating two classic board games to a thrift store, but they said they could only take one. I asked which one they wanted and they said...

Sorry. We don't want any Trouble.

What's it called when Matt Damon goes searching for a thrift store?

Goodwill hunting

Did you here about the 99c thrift store that changed to everything for one dollar?

Everything else stayed the same, so there's no change there.

There was a fire yesterday at my local thrift store

A person died of secondhand smoke

I’ve been on the prowl for the best thrift store deals

I guess you could say I’m Goodwill Hunting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde woman walks into a thrift store, grabs a tv, and goes to buy it.

She tells the cashier “excuse me sir, I’d like to buy this tv.” The cashier tells the woman “sorry ma’am, I don’t sell to blondes” the blonde woman walks out pretty pissed off, and decided that she would come back tomorrow in a wig so the cashier wouldn’t recognize her. So she comes back the next da...

What do you call it when your are tracking an animal in a thrift store

Good Will Hunting

I bought a thesaurus from a thrift store. When I got home I opened it and every single page was completely blank.

I have no words to describe my anger.

What's Hank Hill's favorite band?

PROPAIN!

I found a cd at a thrift store for a band actually called PROPAIN, made up this joke on the spot (maybe it's old idk) and made myself giggle, so I had to buy it, now I keep it in our minivan and break it out as my favorite dad joke whenever I have someone in it lol

A new thrift store just opened up in my town, and all proceeds go to Parkinson's research...

you get a 10% discount if you do the secret hand shake.

My wife has been in a coma for two weeks now and doctors have told me to expect the worst.

So I've had to go to all the thrift stores and get her clothes back.

Our family never could afford much nice for Christmas...

So one year I told my mom "I just want something I can play with." She said ok, went to the local thrift store to find me something, got me a good old used pair of overalls about my size and cut me a hole in the right pocket.

A guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar and notices that the place is mostly empty. Except for one end of the bar, that is. And there he sees a group of women standing around. All kinds of women - beautiful women, plain-looking women, shapely, skinny, fat, short, tall, blondes, brunettes - just about everything. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a finance professional is traveling to Goldman Sachs to be interviewed for an internship, and he has lost his way...

He asks a man in passing, "Hey, do you know the way to Goldman Sachs from here?" The man nods and says, "Yes, just take the next left, travel one block, and it will be on your right." The first man thanks him and is on his way.

Sure enough, he comes to a magnificent building coated in gold p...

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