A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during particularly icy winter.

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules, so the husband left Minnesota...

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A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the...

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6 Life Lessons

6 life lessons

**Lesson 1:**

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, ...

Iceberg

A couple icebergs in Antarctica are best friends. They grew up together and have known each other since they were ice cubes.

One iceberg decides he's tired of all the cold weather, he tells his best friend he's going on a warm vacation for a couple weeks. A couple weeks pass by and he returns...

How do you warm up a frozen cowboy?

Yee thaw!

A man boarded a plane in New Orleans with a box of crabs...

A female crew member took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator, which she did.

The man firmly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, and proceeded to rant and rave about what would happen if she let the crabs thaw out. ...

Why did you ruin the Thanksgiving turkey at the last minute?

It just wasn't very well thawed out.
(it's bad, but it's mine)

What do cannibals like to smoke?

Men thaws.

Ole and Sven go to Hell

Ole and Sven, ignoring the -60 degree windchill warnings, froze to death while ice fishing in northern Minnesota and descend to Hell.

Coming to check on his new arrivals from up North, Satan is surprised to find Ole and Sven enjoying themselves, finally removing coats and hats that they've ...

In a bus...

... a grandma looks with interest a girl that has a hieroglyphs tattoo on her neck

Gi: "Hey granny, what are you looking at?"

Gr: "At what is written on your neck, darling."

Gi: "So what? Tattoos haven't existed when you were young?"

Gr: "Babe, we had them to, but... I w...

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It's very cold one night...

A little bird is sitting in a tree trying to get some sleep but overnight it gets very cold and the little bird freezes. Unable to use his wings, he drops out of the tree and falls to the ground below.



A nearby cow hears the thud and wanders over to investigate. Seeing the frozen ...

Europeans have been testing aircraft engines against bird strikes for a long while, using a cannon which launched (deceased, obviously) chickens at the aeroplane.

Eventually, the Americans decided they needed to test their engines tbe same way. So they brought a device over and started testing. No matter how resilient they made the engines, they always failed. After months of testing, they gave up and sent for a European engineer to advise on what wad wrong.<...

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Two Minute Management Course

Lesson One ...

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a...

What did the man say after eating a frozen pizza?

That wasn't well thawed out.

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An Amish girl riding with her mom

An Amish girl is riding with her mom in a cart when she turns to her mom
"mom my hands sure are cold"
"well put them between your legs that'll warm them up"
So the girl does and her hands warm up. The next day the girl is riding with her boyfriend and he says "boy my hands are cold"
"wel...

I created a better way to defrost chicken

It was well thawed out.

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So this guy applied to leave the USSR. Part of the process was random police searches for anti soviet material. Unfortunately for him, he had a parrot that would curse Stalin in language that would make a sailor’s ears bleed.

One day he hears a knock on the door. The loud rapping of the KGB. Thinking quickly, he grabs the parrot and stuffs him in the freezer where he was hoarding a frozen chicken. The KGB do their inspection and leave with a grunt of approval. Once they leave he gets the half frozen parrot out and thaws ...

The cryogenics company was going out of business so I had to take my parents head's home. We were never close,...

...our relations were thawed

Last night for dinner, we had frozen fish.

It wasn't very well thawed out...

Did you ever hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?

You could say it was a very well thawed out plan

My plan was to skip shoveling and just let the snow melt.

It wasnt well thawed out.

I tried to convinthe thomeone today was the 9th

but they thaw through my false pretenthes.

A Wealthy Programmer Freezes Himself.

Back in the early 70s, a programmer was able to build several complex systems and was heavily compensated for his work. Throughout the years, he put his knowledge to work and was able to fix almost any problem thrown at him. Unfortunately, however, he learnt from his doctor that he was slowly dying ...

Made the mistake of biting into some half frozen food

Realized that wasn't well thawed out.

NASA CHICKEN CANON

NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.

British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangemen...

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NSFW Buggy Ride.

An Amish Mother and Daughter are riding in the buggy home from the market one crisp Autumn day when the Daughter says her hands are cold as she has forgotten her mittens, the Mother being wise tells her to place them between her thighs and it will warm them up.The next day a male suitor comes callin...

A little girl asked her dad what he thought of Frozen...

"It was not very well thawed out."

What did the sun say after melting Frosty the Snowman?

I came, I thaw, I conquered .

Greg was so hungry he ate a frozen steak.

He hadn't really thawed it out.

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A man on a date

A guy is sitting at a bar, there's music blasting. Across from him is the most stunning women he's ever seen and she's giving him the eye.
He buys her a drink and comes over.
They seem to be getting on fantastically, and she's so beautiful everyone in the place is jealous.

Suddenly she...

the fowled experiment

scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the wind...

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If you are warm and happy in a pile of....

Once upon a time, there was a little sparrow who decided to be different from all the other birds by not flying south for winter. Needless to say, it soon got so cold that the little bird reluctantly started south anyway. As he flew along, the little bird grew cold and ice formed on his wings which ...

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