A blonde is going door to door trying to find some paying work She knocks on one door and an older man opens it up. "Hey mister, do you have any odd jobs I could do for cash?"
He looks her up and down and surmises that she's an idiot whom he can take advantage of.
"I'll give you ten dollars if you paint my porch. There's paint, brushes, ladders and everything you'll need next to the car in the garage."
"Sure, sounds great!"
The man closes the door, ch...
A bartender's slow afternoon is interrupted by the sudden clatter of the door being pushed open by a man in a big hurry.
The man is clearly distraught. In between deep breaths, he manages to say, "Quick, barkeep... I need four shots of... (*gasp gasp*)... your best whiskey... (*gasp gasp*)... Hurry, please!"
The bartender spring into action, and within two shakes of a lamb's tail, he has four shots of his top-s...
Brad and Mike are two old reti
Brad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other. Much of their relationship is based on pragmatism rather than real friendship or personal affection. One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Mike opens the morning paper and t...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A drunk notices that one of his fellow regulars is really stepping up his one night stand game as of late so he goes up to him and asks how he's doing it.
The drunk slurs "heyy mate, I've been notishing that you are shagging allotta women lately. It's almost like 50 pershent of the babes end up leaving with you. You gotta tell me your *hic secret". The guy thinks for a second and looks the drunk up and down. He tells the drunk "I will tell you my secr...