Supreme Court Justice Jokes - 14 Hilarious Supreme Court Justice Jokes

Six Supreme Court justices, floating face-down in a river

All 6 conservative members of the SCOTUS got stranded in the woods with only a giant suitcase and a couple of paddles. Then they came to a raging river- it was fast-moving, wide and rocky but only waist deep. They began to bicker over how to get across. Kavanaugh, Thomas, and Gorsuch said "We are st...

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and says,

'So, Daddy, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so. It's a 16 hour driv...

A District Court judge, a Circuit Court judge, and a Supreme Court justice are sitting at a bar

The District Court judge says, "I interpret the Constitution the way I read it."

The Circuit Court judge says, "I interpret the Constitution the way it's written."

The Supreme Court justice says, "The Constitution isn't anything, until I interpret it."

(original joke was three u...

US Supreme Court Justice Ginsburg died.

Clearly now people will see the court as completely Ruth-less.

Picking a Supreme Court Justice is a lot like crossing a river...

It all comes down to Roe v Wade

How conservative will Amy Coney Barrett's decisions be as a Supreme Court Justice?

I don't know, ask her husband.

Eight of the Supreme Court justices, except for Ginsburg, went out on a killing spree, executing everyone they came across.....

... they were Ruthless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the supreme court justice who was caught stealing the scraps from restaurant booths?

Police identified her as Booth Raider Ginsburg.

Supreme Court

Hillary Clinton rang Donald Trump and said that a female Supreme Court Justice has just died and I would like to replace her,Trump replied that’s alright by me but I will have to ring the Funeral Home to make the arrangements

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So U.S. Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia died today while on a hunting trip...

...he must have gone with Dick Cheney.

The first female president is being sworn in.

Her Jewish mother is sitting in the second row next to a Supreme Court Justice, watching. The judge leans over and says, "Madam, you must be VERY proud."

The mother says, "Well, you see that girl with her hand on the Bible? Her brother's a doctor."

President's Aide: "Mr. Trump, the dry cleaners called and wanted to let you know...

You left two supreme court justices in your pocket when you dropped your suit off."

Late night to the White House

Hillary Clinton phoned the president's office shortly after midnight.
"I need to talk to the president, it's an emergency!", exclaimed Hillary.
After some cajoling, the president's assistant agreed to wake him up.
"So, what is it that's so important that it can't wait until morning?"
gru...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was growing up, I went to school with a boy named Justin Reimer.

Now, Justin's father was a Supreme Court Justice, and like father like son, Justin was the head of every political club in our school. Graduation came, he was accepted into Harvard's School of Law (to no one's surprise), and that was the last I saw of him. Or so I thought...

Twenty years late...

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