UPJOKE
kingdommonarchyempireczarrealmviceroyattilainfantasovereigninfanteisraelahabkaisersolomonemperor

Sunda Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my employees today complained that the sundae lids won’t fit.

I told her “Well duh, that’s because it’s Monday!”

They are so done with my bullshit today. Lol.

A gorilla walks into a restaurant.

He sits down at a booth and a waitress comes over to take his order. He orders an ice cream sundae. The waitress goes back into the kitchen, gets him an ice cream sundae and takes it to his table. The gorilla eats the sundae and then motions to the waitress for the bill. The waitress comes over, giv...

I overheard a man order a sundae with nuts, but no ice cream.

To me, that's just nuts.

What do you call a sundae that melts away and turns into garbage?

A Mon-dae

Sundae

An elderly couple is sitting in their living room, when the Mrs gets an idea.

"Honey," she exclaimed, "Would you mind going out and picking me up an ice cream sundae?"

"Sure," He says, "I've got nothing else better to do."

"But I want a special sundae, would you like me to write...

A lady walks into an ice cream shop. "Can I get a chocolate scoop on a cone?" she asks.

"Sorry, ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream," says the man behind the counter.
"Oh, well then can I get a chocolate sundae?" she asks.
"We're out of chocolate," he repeats.
"Well, how about a chocolate milkshake?"
The man is frustrated at this point and decides to teach h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Free Ice Cream Sundae

A stewardess approaches a small young boy on an airplane and asks the boy, "Would you like a free ice cream sundae?"
"Golly, would I!" the boy replies.

"And would you like two scoops?" the stewardess asks enthusiastically.

"Absolutely!" the boy said.

"Chocolate?" the nurse as...

To abandon an ice cream sundae in Death Valley is to

Desert your dessert in a desert.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s a little boy’s seventh birthday.

For his birthday, his parents buy him a really superb cowboy outfit. I mean, it’s got everything: the boots, the spurs, the tiny plastic revolvers. The boy is thrilled; he doesn’t take the outfit off all day.

That evening, the little boy’s parents take him out to an ice cream parlor for a ...

A Penguin takes his car to the shop

A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to...

There's a penguin driving through the desert when suddenly his car breaks down...

Spying a service station, he quickly pulls over and gets out to speak with the mechanic. The man agrees to fix the car, but tells the penguin to wait for an hour or so while he works. To pass the time, the penguin walk next door to a little ice cream shop and has a big ol' vanilla sundae while he ...

The ice cream parlor asks for my order

Parlor: "Hello Sir, can I take your order?"

Me: "Yes, I'd like a male hot fudge sundae please."

Parlor: "I'm sorry Sir, a male hot fudge sundae?"

Me: "Yes, with nuts".

As a mcdonald's worker I get a lot of idiots going through drive through

As is common for mcdonalds the ice cream machine was down
a customer came in and asked for a strawberry shake, I told him the ice cream machine was down

he then asked for a fudge Sundae, I again told him the ice cream machine was down

next he asked for a vanilla cone, I told him the...

When I die I want to go to an iced crematorium

I can have a Sundae service

An American man is traveling in Sweden. NSFW

He goes to the local bar one night and picks up a tall, beautiful Swedish lady. They go back to his hotel and start making out. They French kiss deeply, he pulls back and says “In America, we call that a Strawberry Sundae!” She responds “Yah, shuure, vee do too.”

He proceeds to undress her a...

My all-time favorite joke: The Forgetful Couple

An elderly couple are sitting in the living room, and the old man gets up, and says "I'm going to the store to get myself a soda, do you want anything?"

His wife says "I'd like an ice cream sundae. Here, I'll write it down for you so you don't forget--"

"I'm not going to forget," he w...

What's a football player's favorite ice cream?

Any given sundae

I was offered a job at the local ice cream shop

But I turned it down.

I don't like working on sundaes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy dressed in a cowboy costume...

A little boy wearing a cowboy costume walks into an ice cream shop.
The lady behind the counter says, "Don't you look dashing in your cowboy outfit! What can I get for you 'lil partner?"

"I want an ice cream sundae with lots of chocolate and nuts!"

She says, "Do you want your nuts c...

What is a slow moving ice cream truck called?

A sundae driver.

The lovers in the ice cream parlor

I came up with this joke years ago. I rarely had the oppertunity to tell it.

There was a couple of lovers who had a day off work so they went to their favorite ice cream parlor. The boyfriend wasn't that into ice cream but it was the girlfriend's favorite treat, so he always had what she had....

A old man walks into a McDonalds

He is bent over and shuffling slowly. He approaches the counter with great difficulty and orders an ice cream sundae.

The cashier asks "Crushed nuts?"

The old man replies, "No arthritis."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A banana, a pickle, and a penis are sitting in a bar...

They are all bullshitting about their lives and how bad they each have it.

The banana pipes up and says "Man, my life really sucks. Ya know, when I get big, ripe, and juicy they take me, slice me up, and throw me on an ice cold ice cream sundae."

The pickle says "Ha! That's a laugh! I...

A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully,

slowly climbed up onto a counter stool.

He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae.

“Crushed nuts?” asked the server.

“No,” he answered.

“Bad knees.”

What's the difference between mass and weight?

Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday, and weight is where sundaes go on Catholics.

(From a poster on the ceiling in my dentists office)

What did Jesus eat for dessert after the Last Supper?

an Easter Sundae

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The little Cowboy

A little boy walks into an ice-cream store wearing a cowboy hat and a pair of six shooters.The woman behind the counter can't help smiling at the tough expression on his chubby little face.

“Hello there,cowboy," she says “What can I get for you?"

The kid bellies up to the counter.
...

Steve likes Flowers

Every week, he goes to a different florist in his city, and buys a different kind of flower, trying to find what looks and smells best. On this occasion, however, he struggles to find one that fits his vibe for the week. Seeing his struggle, the young florist walks up.

"Hi!" She says with a ...

A physicist goes into an ice cream parlor every week...

He always orders an ice cream sundae and offers one to the empty stool next to him.

One day, the owner of the shop asks the physicist, "Why do you do that?"

The physicist replies, "Well, quantum mechanics teaches us that there is a chance that the matter above this stool will spontaneo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friend told me about his trip out with his grandson.

This is what he said. "Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My 6 year-old grandson asked if he could say grace."

As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food and I would thank you even more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. And ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why we need armed guards at McDonalds

Dirty Ernie was about 8 years old and had just gotten a cowboy outfit for his birthday. His mom took him to McDonalds and he wore the suit. He was ordering his happy meal, and the cashier thought he was cute. She asked, "Do you want a dessert, sweetie?"

Ernie pulled out his six-shooter, twirl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Jimmy's Birthday

It was little Jimmy's birthday. And for his birthday present, his mother got him a cowboy costume, complete with a hat, vest, belt with gun holsters, and two fake revolvers. His aunt gave him 5 dollars to go down the street to the ice cream store and get some ice cream.

At the ice cream store...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Ice Cream Parlor

A woman walks into an ice cream parlor just before it closes. The employee behind the counter asks if he can help her and she replies, "Yes, I would like a chocolate ice cream cone, please."

"I'm sorry," the employee replied, "we just ran out of chocolate ice cream. Can I get you something el...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.