I really adore the inherent pacifistic attitude of the vegans.

They don't want to have any beef with people.

That isn't to say that they are cow-ards

What do you call a traveling pacifist?

A No-Mad.

One time I was telling jokes to my pacifist friend, but he didn't like any of them.

I guess he didn't like punchlines

People never seem to remember Jet Li's weaker, pacifist brother...

Gent Li.

Why do pacifist jokes suck?

They have no punchline

A soldier, a pacifist and a band are on an airplane

Suddenly the plane starts falling from the sky.

The pilot shouts: "There's too much weight! Somebody has to jump!"

The soldier stands up and walks to the door: "It would be an honour to protect all of you."

He jumps.

The airplane keeps falling. Soon the pilot shouts again...

What did the pacifist cannibal do to earn his bad reputation?

Nothing. He's just full of himself.

Say what you like about pacifists...

...

One day, the monks at a monastery decided they need to raise money.

Friar Tuck decided to start a florist's shop. It was a success! All the villagers nearby loved to buy flowers from the men of God. All except one, that is. The local florist. He was getting run out of business by the monks. He went to the Friar and asked him to close their shop, but they refused....

Ghandi is my role model

Everyone knows about Gandhi. Pacifist, role model of MLK, and arguably the most important man in the movement of Indian independence. Of course, aside from his upstanding character, he did have a multitude of physical flaws. As an Indian peasant, he rarely wore shoes because he was too poor to affor...

The Toaster leads the Kitchen Appliances on Strike. [LONG]

I looked around the kitchen in exasperation.

"We have will be heard! We have a voice! We have rights!"

"Umm, no you don't." I said to the speaker, "you're literally a wok."

"Well that may be, but we will not be abused any longer!"

A chorus of "Yeah," "You tell 'im!" and "...

There are many contradictory statements like...

Pacifist mass murder, Clinton keeping emails, and Apple is innovative.

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