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Solitary Confinement Jokes

"I think solitary confinement is a luxury," said my friend, "don't you?"

"You're on your own there," I replied.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are each locked away for a year in solitary confinement.

Before they are thrown in, they are each allowed to request a year's supply of whatever he wants to help them through the hard time.

The Scotsman asks for whisky, so he gets some and he's locked away.

The Irishman asks for a fix of Guinness, so several hundred bottles are thrown in. ...

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman are sentenced to 20yrs solitary confinement.

The judge allows each to choose something to take with them.

-The Englishman takes 20 women with him.

-The Scotsman takes 20 years worth of whiskey.

-The Irishman takes 20 years worth of cigarettes.

After 20 long years they are all released from solitary.

When the...

3 guys are sentenced to 10 years in solitary confinement...

The warden says that each guy is allowed to bring one object into the tiny cell with them to help them withstand their punishment.

The first guy asks for a Bible. The second guy asks for a medical encyclopedia. The third guy asks for a 12-carton case of cigarettes.

At the end of th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Drunk private with a wheelbarrow

Sergeant: So as I understand it, private, yesterday after curfew, you were caught arriving from a night out, piss-drunk, with a fucking wheelbarrow?!

Private: Yes, sir that is correct but I think-

Sergeant: I'm thinking 10 days solitary confinement! This is absolutely unacceptable beha...

You know who the real victims of this virus are?

Ex cons, just made it out of prison to be put in solitary confinement.

An Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman...

An English, Scottish & Irish soldier are caught fighting as mercenaries in a foreign land.


As prisoners of war, the General sentences each to 12 months of solitary confinement, but to show he is fair, he will give them each a years supply of a luxury item of their choosing.

...

We read it wrong!

Father Joseph had spent the last few months holed up in the Vatican library, trying to unlock the secrets of Christianity by reading all the old scrolls / books available. Day and night he toiled away in his self-administered solitary confinement. Months passed this way, till the Pope started worryi...

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