I know a man who says he designed a labyrinth, got imprisoned in it, and then escaped using wings made of wax.

But I wonder whether he really Daedalus things he claims to have done.

A new prisoner arrives at the gulag, and his fellow inmates ask what he was imprisoned for.

""Nothing! They gave me 10 years for nothing!", the new inmate said.

"Oh come on, don't lie to us!", replied the other inmate; "Everyone knows 'for nothing' is only 5 years!"

An engineer, physicist, and mathematician have been imprisoned.

At some point, the warden realizes that the three men haven't been fed in a while. He accompanies an officer to check up on them. The warden and officer arrive at the first cell that contained the engineer. To their astonishment, the cell was empty and the wall had a hole in it.

"How is that ...

What did the bug imprisoned in a bottle of perfume say?

I’m in-a-scent!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A barbarian slave in Rome somehow won the attention of Caesar's daughter

They became lovers. To avoid pregnancy, they agreed to oral sex only. After just a few encounters, they were caught in the act. At first the barbarian, imprisoned and sentenced to fight to entertain the crowd, regretted his poor judgment.

Eventually, though, he was gladiator.

I have plans to start a business reading poetry and short stories to the imprisoned

I call it Prose and Cons

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just beyond the Gates of Hell, an alcoholic, a womanizer, and a stoner find themselves standing in front of three identical doors.

There to greet them is none other than Satan, who tells them a secret method to getting into Heaven: Each man must spend 1,000 years in a room with their greatest vice. If he does so, he will be allowed to enter Heaven. The catch? At the end of the 1,000 year period, if the man asks to be let out of...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the man who was imprisoned for incest?

Hope the motherfucker rots in jail.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does one say when he is imprisoned by an ancient Greek government?

Fuck the polis

Two men are wrongfully imprisoned in an insane asylum...

They quickly, and frustratingly, realize that the more they try to prove their sanity the more they are treated like they are insane. Eventually they can't take anymore and decide to break free together.

At night they slip out of their rooms and sneak towards the stairs. They climb up the sta...

My 5 yr old son was just imprisoned for skipping naptime

He was resisting a rest

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A convict imprisoned for 1st degree murder escaped from prison.

On the run, he broke into a young couple's house and tied each of them up on opposite sides of the room. He went over to the wife and bent over beside her, appearing to be kissing her neck. He suddenly got up and left the room. Quickly, the husband rushed to his wife and whispered, "This guy probabl...

A man noticed that his friend only smoked two cigarettes at a time.

He asked him about it and his friend said: "one for me and one on my imprisoned brother's behalf. He told me to smoke for him too"

Years later, the man saw his friend smoking only one cigarette, he told him: "I'm guessing good news! Your brother finished his sentence?"

His friend said:...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American wash up on an island inhabited by cannibals...

They are quickly captured and imprisoned. At dawn on the first day, the chief of the cannibals has the Englishman brought to him and says "We are going to cook you and eat you, and make a canoe out of your skin. But because I am a generous chief, you may choose how to die."

The Englishman say...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man released from prison.

A man, who was imprisoned for 30 years, gets released from prison. 30 years, and all he could think about, was having sex, as he loved sex before going to prison. He makes up his mind, and tells himself "The first thing I see, whatever it may be, I will have sex with". As soon as he leaves prison, h...

Story with a moral

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out t...

4 prisoners are sitting in a cell.

They have all been imprisoned for life, so to pass the time, they tell each other jokes.

This goes well for the first few years, but eventually they have told and retold every joke they know.

Eventually they start numbering the jokes so they don't have to tell them from start to finis...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“This is good!”

Once there was a king. His best friend was a commoner, a man who was the son of one of the royal housekeepers. They were of an age, and had grown up playing together in the palace gardens.

As they grew older, the king found himself more and more impressed with his friend’s ability to always ...

An explorer in the African jungle heard about a plan to capture the legendary King Kong.

And sure enough when he came to a clearing there before him, imprisoned in a cage, sat the imposing figure of King Kong.


It occurred to the explorer that he could be the first person ever to touch the great ape and so tentatively he inched towards the cage. Since King Kong appeared quite ...

The Genie and the Demon

Three men are out walking in the woods one day, when they stumble upon an old bronze lamp. Naturally, having spent much of their lives reading internet jokes, their first inclination is to rub the lamp and excitedly greet the genie that emerges.

"You have freed me from my near-eternal captivi...

Three men are serving jail time in East Germany.

As they wait for time to pass, they eventually talk about why they were imprisoned.

The first one says: "Everyday, I got to work five minutes early, so they condemned me for espionage!"

The other two ask the second man.

He says: "Everyday, I got to work 5 minutes late, so they ...

A joke from my scout troop a while back.

Jim had always wanted to run a train. It was his dream since he was a child. His mind was set and no other career moved him the way a train had. He did well in school, and when he was accepted to the local Railway school, he was stoked.

4 years later, he had his first job of running the train...

An Arab is lost in the desert, dying of thirst

As his eyesight begins to fade and he collapses into the ground, his fingers come across a stoppered flask in the sand. Hoping for water, he pops it open, only to see a swirl of smoke issued forth, coalescing into a giant figure.

"My deliverer!" booms the figure. "I am a long imprisoned Djinn...

A man and his wife go Golfing

A man and his wife call into a radio show and win a free trip to the most expensive golf course in town. The husband, being the gentleman he is, lets the wife go first.

"Alright honey, no matter what you do, just don't hook your shot, as these are the most expensive houses in town." he says t...

There was this epileptic Roman ruler...

...who was prone to occasional fits. He was also very self-conscious about it. One day, one of his guards (who also suffered from epilepsy) went into convulsions in the hall while the monarch was eating dinner.

Assuming that the man was mocking him, the dictator furiously ordered him to be t...

A pair of twins have a deal...

They constantly get in trouble with the law for various reasons and are frequently thrown in jail. They don't like staying in jail for too long, so they made a deal: if only one of the twins is arrested and imprisoned, the other twin will sneak in and swap places with them when they have spent half ...

Bit of a dad joke - trains in jail

Q. Why are trains always being falsely imprisoned?


A. Because of their loco motives

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the end of the 1930s in a small cell of a Soviet prison

At the end of the 1930s three man share a cell in a Soviet prison awaiting their execution. Sitting silently the whole time the first man wants to break the ice and asks:

"So guys, how did you end up in here?"

The second man replies:

"I'm in here for voting for Ivan Iwanowitsch ...

A man comes home to his wife from his job...

...with a happy smile on his face.

– Hey, i just got fired!

– Then why are you so happy?

– The rest were imprisoned!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two explorers in a jungle

A researcher accompanied by his assistant are exploring the jungles of Africa, when suddenly they are caught by a hostile tribe. The explorers are brought to the tribe and are imprisoned in separate huts. The king of the tribe appears to the researcher and tells him that if you want to live you have...

God sacrificed his son for his love of humans

And we all seem to be cool with it. But when **I** try to sacrifice my son for my love of humans, I get arrested and imprisoned.

I'm starting to see some discrimination going on here...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cruiser ship sinks near a lone island

Three survivors are thrown upon the shores by the tides. Before they get a chance to realize what's going on, they are seized and imprisoned by the local tribesmen. The chieftain explains in broken English that they must die for trespassing on their soil, but since they don't get visitors very often...

Prisoner's Dilemna [Solved!]

Two members of a criminal gang are arrested and imprisoned. Each prisoner is interrogated separately, with no means of speaking to or exchanging messages with the other. The police offer each prisoner a bargain. Each prisoner is given the opportunity either to: betray the other by testifying that th...

An explorer travels to deepest darkest Africa to witness a solar eclipse.

He is captured by cannibals and imprisoned. He hears that he will be killed and eaten on the day of the eclipse, so he asks his guard about how the day will proceed, hoping that he can use his knowledge of the eclipse to his advantage.

"Well, usually we start the fire in the morning and slaug...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.