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Snow Storm Jokes

How do you follow Will Smith in a snow storm?

You follow the fresh prints.

There's one soup you have to like to get through a snow storm.

As long as you love Miso. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her: "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Walmart parking lot, ...

Snow Storm in Texas blew 25% of my neighbors roof.

Oof.

What do you call a hooker in a snow storm?

Frostitute

If a class going to cosmetology school can’t make it because of a snow storm…

Do they have a make up day?

I used to be a fortune teller but I kept predicting snow storms ..

It turns out I wasn't using a crystal ball, it was a snow globe .

This most recent snow storm was a lot like what women experience with me in the bedroom

What was supposed to be 8" somehow turned into 4"

Winter Storm Advisory,

Due to tomorrow’s snow storm, please remember that side streets always get plowed last. However, your mom will continue to get plowed first. That will never change.

The mail pilot

A man applied for a job delivering mail to remote areas by plane. The human resources officer showed him the employment contract.


He said, "you need to be aware that the U.S. Post Office has a tradition of delivering the mail no matter what, even in bad weather. So that means you will...

I was talking to this girl

And she said “men are like snow storms”.

Puzzled I asked why that was

She replied, “you never know how much you’re going to get or how long it’s going to last”.

(I’ll show myself out)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While everyone is arguing over whether it's called a snow blower or a snow thrower, I invented a way to turn a dishwasher into snow removal device.

...
I bought my wife a snow shovel.

Sales

It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency,were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caught between towns during a driving snow storm. The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finally slid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house qui...

Arthur was looking outside as the snow begin to fall,

and his wife, Martha, yelled from the other room "They said on the radio we need to park on the odd side of the street for the plows tonight!"

"Ok, I'll move the car then!" and he moved the car to the odd side of the street.

A few nights later another snow storm was due. "Arthur, the ...

A husband and his blonde wife.

A husband and his blonde wife are watching the news, when they see a snow storm warning, 6 to 8 inches. The news says to park your car on the even side of the street. She promptly gets up and moves her car.

2 weeks later another storm is moving in, and the news says to park on the odd side o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

F*cking Audi four wheel drive!

It was a snowy wednesday evening. Snow had fallen for a couple of days, and the roads were treacherous.

A man walks into a bar, and while passing through the door he loudly clears his throat and spits in the corner, followed by a mumbled "Fucking Audi four wheel drive!".

He sits down, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a country with strict population growth rules.

The population was so low, the government had enacted a law that required all couples to have children within 5 years of their marriage. Should a couple fail to produce a child during this period, a government official would be sent to "get the job done".

Such was the situation of a couple, w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

8 Life Lessons — NOT OC

I'll credit this as last posted by u/NinjaNoob99.

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*SHOWER:*

A woman gets out of the shower just as her husband is going to his room. Hearing a knock on the front door, she wraps herself in her bathrobe before stepping outside. She sees her neighbor, who says "I'll give you...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Priest and the Nun

A priest and a nun were traveling home from visiting a distant parish when a fierce snow storm forced them to stop. Luckily, they happened to be passing an inn, so they decided to stop for the night to wait out the storm.

Naturally (because this is a joke…) the inn had only one room remaining...

The origin of the angel on top of the tree

It must've been the coldest winter ever, with the worst snow storm this world has ever seen brewing in the North Pole on the Eve of Christmas. Santa was bedridden with a nasty stomach bug, and his workshop was short-staffed as many of the elves had contracted ~~herpes from sodomizing each other~~ th...

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