UPJOKE
drooldrivelsalivadribbleslaverslabberspittlecootiepantingorajelmouthspitrudenesstyphoidstd

Slobber Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend wanted to try doggy style...

Apparently, slobbering all over her and dragging my ass along the carpet wasn't what she had in mind..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once received oral sex from a former Serbian Prime Minister.

He slobbered on my losevic.

Dating a French Horn player

A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?"

"Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tiny little pucker; it was no fun at all."

The next night she went out with a tub...

War Story

When I was 19 I joined the Navy cause, why not?

I ended up as a Navy Seal and get deployed to Iraq for 6 years.

Not even sure who we're fighting at this point.
Lose half my friends I had in the Navy but come home.

My family hardly talks to me now, but at least my dog still re...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A seaman on shore leave...

...goes to the nearest brothel and asks for a blowjob.

So a lady of negotiable affection comes and goes to town on him, really working it, slobbering all over it.

But after this goes on for an hour, she finally exclaims:

Is it ever gonna get hard?

To which the seaman repl...

Neighbor's Rabbit

I came home from work to find my dog playing with a fluffy toy, tossing it in the air, rolling on in, etc. A closer check revealed the toy to be my neighbour's pet rabbit.

 

There was already a bit of tension between us and the neighbours, so I didn't want them to know my do...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar in Manchester

He orders a drink and sits down on a barstool. He notices a large, clear, plastic box on a shelf behind the bar with £20 notes stuffed into it.

He asks the barmaid “Ey love, what’s that box there for?”. She replies “Ah, that’s the 3 part pub challenge!”

Intrigued, the man asks her to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fancy Chicago lawyer goes duck hunting in LA (Lower Alabama) (very long)

This lawyer had heard about the exceptional duck hunting in lower Alabama so he made plans to go one year. He left his hotel early and found a good spot by sun-up. He had the most expensive equipment money could buy.

He missed a few ducks, but then shot one. It flapped a couple times and lan...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.