UPJOKE
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You can lose weight by putting sliced bread on your head.

It's a loaf-hat-diet.
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The inventor of sliced bread

Is likely the one that cut the cheese.
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What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Massive sandwiches
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My Gran fell asleep last night with a cigarette in her hand. That woman was the best thing since sliced bread.

Now she’s toast.
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This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A mother of 100 children makes lunches for them for school.

She pulls out 5 bags of sliced bread and several spreads. She spreads butter on 12 of the bread slices, jam on 8 of them, peanut butter on 18, nutella on 12, more butter on 21 of them, nutella again on 6, jam on 3, and peanut butter on the rest of them. What did she spread the most?

Her legs!

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A brash American tourist got seated next to a Chinese man in a plane.

Mid flight, the Chinese man ordered for a marmalade sandwich. The American could not contain his curiosity so he struck up a conversation with his seatmate.

"You enjoyin' that sandwich, pal?" he asked

"Yes" politely answered the Chinese man after he took a bite and made a few chews....

Job application...

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast food establishment.
Not sure if they hired him....

NAME - Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION - Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here i...
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