President Donald Trump and his motorcade are cruising along a country road to Florida after the government shutdown. Suddenly they hit a pig, killing it instantly.
Trump tells his chief of staff to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees him staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.
"What happened to you?" asked Trump...
Breaking News: Government shutdown ends as Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall
On the condition that he gets to install windows.
Today, Senate Republicans declared that they see no path forward to end the government shutdown
In other words: they've hit a wall
Day 32 of the government shutdown
That makes it just over two years since we’ve had a functioning government
No need to prolong the government shutdown. We've already built a wall.
A paywall.
They’re going to unplug me if this government shutdown continues any longer
Read my name
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
During the US Government shutdown, obviously the US Mail is still working...
...because people keep posting the same shit again and again.
Ajit Pai made inquiries about how a government shutdown could affect him
but Verizon assures him he'll still get paid
If Trump's hair sees it's shadow...
the government shutdown will last for 6 more weeks.
It's official Trump's inauguration date is now a National Holiday.
At least I assume so because the government shutdown for it.
Does anyone know if Donald Trump saw his shadow this morning?
Six more weeks of government shutdown coming if he did!
I read that the Large Magellanic Cloud is going to collide with the Milky Way in 2 billion years.
Maybe the government shutdown will be over by then.
Your mamas so fat...
She could end the government shutdown if we put her on the US/Mexico Border.
If I had a dollar for every time somebody told me , “don’t worry, you’ll all get back pay”
I’d still be in a financial hardship due to the government shutdown.
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