Why should we make shoelaces out of earphone/headphones wires?

Cause they would tie themselves.

Three shoelaces are walking down the sidewalk when they come across a bar

A sign sits in front of the bar which reads, “no shoelaces aloud” the first shoelace says, “no sign can stop me!” And makes his way into the bar, the barkeeper notices the shoelace, and says, “hey! You’re a shoelace, no shoelaces are aloud in my bar!” And he grabs the shoelace by the neck, and throw...

What did the father say whilst teaching his kid to tie his shoelaces?

Knot bad

Why did the teacher tie all of her student's shoelaces together?

She wanted to take a class trip.

I tripped over my shoelaces one day and got arrested.

I guess it was a felony.

I witnessed my shoelaces fight today...

It was a tie...

Why did JR Smith trip over his shoelaces?

Because he thought they were tied.

How fast is a grizzly bear

Two guyes are hiking in the mountains. They stumble on an angry grizzly bear. The one guy bends down to tighten his shoelaces. What, asked the other guy, do you really think you can out run a grizzly bear? Nope, answered the first guy, but I know I can out run you

Paddy At The Newsagents

I’ve just seen Paddy in the local newsagent and one of his shoelaces was undone, so I said,



“watch out you don’t trip up over your laces, Paddy.”




Paddy says, “yeah, it’s these bloody instructions.”




I said, “what instructions, Paddy?”
Pad...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Zombies

Undertakers:

Tie the deceased's shoelaces together before burial.
That way, if there IS a zombie apocalypse, it'll be as funny as fuck.

Shoelaces are like women.

If you do them too tight it's uncomfortable.

[BAR]: Hot woman *winks* so what a girl needs to do to get a drink around here

Me: You just ask at the bar for one and exchange it for money.

[3 days later]

Me *tying my shoelaces* wait a second

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my girlfriend if she'd like to tie the knot.

She said, "Do your own fucking shoelaces."

I think winning the war on drugs is impossible.

I struggle just to tie my shoelaces on drugs.

When you are getting Old....

You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.

Two Men are walking in the woods...

When they come upon a Grizzly Bear. The first man bends down quickly and begins to tighten shoelaces.

The second man says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"

As the first man begins to stretch he replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

Two kittens were chasing each other in the jungle

Suddenly one slipped and fell, it's mom saw and told it: tiger shoelaces together or you'll fall again

A string walks into a bar...

So a shoelace walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. The bartender looks at him and responds: "We don't serve shoelaces here, leave."

The shoelace, rather put out, exits the establishment, and proceeds to tie himself into a knot. He then returns to the bar and, again, orders a sco...

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