Ship Captain Jokes

He notes "NE wind, calm sea, today first mate is drunk." After seeing that first mate asks captain to remove the note about him as it would harm his career. "No, I can't do that" declines the captain "we only write the truth in the log." Seeing there is nothing he can do first mate drops the issue. ... read more

Crew: I I captain.

He’s afraid of the Sea’s Fee.

Sea-zures

(This is a bad joke; I'll sea myself out)

A cruise ship captain was waiting to set sail, but didn't have as many people on board as he needed to make it worth while, so he got an idea, he would go to the boardwalk, and offer people half price for tickets. He got a couple of takers, but not enough.

Then he got another idea, he would ... read more

He tells his first mate to get him his red shirt. "Why?" the first mate asked. "I want the red shirt in case I get hit and start bleeding no one can tell and we don't lose moral." They fight and win the battle and start to celebrate. After a few minutes they see 20 more ships and the captain turns t... read more

He says, "First mate, there is a pirate vessel coming straight for us. We must take evasive maneuvers. And bring me my red shirt."

The first mate says, "Your red shirt? Why captain?"

Captain says, "So if I am wounded in the coming battle, the men won't know see me bleed."

"Good ... read more

"Yes," he replied. "Can pilots fly?"