Why did the Satanist Unix Cult never perform executions ?

Because the permissions were 666

If Satanists had missionaries...

would they be called Devil's Advocates?

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?

He sold his soul to Santa.

How does a satanist measure weight?

In pentagrammes

There's a special place in Hell for Satanists.

Good for them.

How much does a satanist's soul weigh?

A pentagram.

You hear of the dyslexic Satanist?

They play their vinyl records forward.

I don’t understand satanists

Why would anyone pray to someone who lost a fiddle playing contest to some hillbilly from Georgia?

What does a Satanist take for a headache?

Ibu-profane.

What did the dyslexic Satanist name his boat?

Sail Hatan

What do you call a group of vegan satanists?

The Beasts of Seitan.

A group of satanists have a meeting when one sneezes.

Then it got really awkward when someone said "God bless you."

How many LaVeyan Satanists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Unlike you I am freed from the restraints of illusory concepts such as "light" and "dark".

What do you call a Satanist dancer?

A ba'al-erina.

A farmer was asked why he specifically breed satanist Yaks on his farm..

...he said he simply enjoys the yakult.

Some of my Satan worshiping friends invited me to an open discussion on Satanism...

I'm not a Satanist myself, but I do like to play Devil's advocate...it was very confusing.

I don't know about you.

But I think satanists can go to hell.

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