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Saggy Jokes

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Little Timmy comes home from school to find his parents in the middle of a fight.

Timmy's parents keep him pretty sheltered, and they don't normally fight in front of him, so he stops to see what is going on. The argument is pretty heated and at this point has devolved to plain old shouting insults at one another.

His mother yells at his father "At least I don't have hair...

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Marco and Luigi are sitting on a park bench

Marco says, "Eh Luigi, you likea de women with de big saggy titties?
Luigi replies, "No, I donna likea de big saggy titties."
Marco thinks and asks, "Eh Luigi, you likea de women wid de big fat belly?
Luigi says, "No Marco, I no likea de big fat belly."
Marco thinks for a second and asks...

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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts.

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If there was a saggy boob competition, my wife would beat everyone...

In fact, she'd wipe the floor with them...

I’m not fat

I’m doing this on purpose, I plan to lose all this weight and then with the saggy skin I’ll be able to have my own wing suit, just like a flying squirrel.

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If there was a saggy tits competetion, my wife would win easily

She would sweep the floors infact

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One night while the husbands at the pub a wife gets to reading an article “is your vagina getting saggy”

After some thought she starts to worry so gets the idea to examine her nethers. After trying with a mirror from all angles she decides to put the mirror on the floor and squat over it to get a real good look.

To her surprise her husband comes into the room. All of a sudden he dashed across t...

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I don't like it when people tell me that I have a saggy ass and that no woman under 60 will bang me...

I prefer the term "badass motherfucker"

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A grumpy old lady goes up to her husband and starts throwing a tantrum.

Wife: “I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is wrinkled skin, saggy boobs and a sad body. Please give me some kind of compliment to make me feel good!”

Husband: “Sounds like you still have perfect vision”

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A woman peers into her bedroom mirror and sighs, deeply.

Her husband quickly asks what the issue is, concerned. She turns around, facing him, “I’m not who I used to be. My forehead is wrinkly, my nose and ears are giant, my lips are deflated and my crows feet are deepen more and more by the day! My collar bones are undefined and my arms are flappy. My beh...

If my 33 year old body was a 90's Rom-Com...

...it would be "When Hairy Met Saggy".

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Complimenting the wife

An Irish man's wife is standing naked in front of the mirror, looking at her body and feeling distraught by what she sees.

"Oh Paddy, look at me! I'm hideous! I'm overweight, me tits are saggy and me hair's starting to go grey.

"Could you please pay me a compliment to make me feel bett...

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60yr old women Florida visits her plastic surgeon and says we gotta do something with this face, it's getting a bit saggy ??

Doc examines her and says I've got the perfect solution to this, we're gonna instal a dial in the back of your head and every time you're feeling a little loose in the face give the dial a quick tighten. She agrees and is very pleased.

Two months later she returns and says doc I've cranked th...

A woman is standing naked in front of her bedroom mirror.

"I'm old, saggy and wrinkled," she sighed. Then she turned to her husband who was sitting in bed, reading. "I could really do with you saying something nice, you know."

He looked up. "Your eyesight's perfect."

An blobfish walks into 1 bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the saggy face?"

It became sad, so it decided to go to another bar. The blobfish is asked "Why the saggy face?" again, so it decides to go to another bar. However, the blobfish slowly began to return to normal. When he had already visited 15 bars, he was back to norma...

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Super Mario and Luigi are sitting around...

Luigi: Hey Mario you lika the women with the big a saggy tits?
Mario: No!
Luigi: Hey Mario, you lika the women with the big a fat ass?
Mario: No!

Luigi: Then why a you fuck my wife?

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I was in bed with my Japanese girlfriend

when I happened to remark that her vagina was getting a bit saggy and big.

She lost it and said, "You are always clittysizing."

Why does each Jedi have a fat stomach and saggy ass?

Only a Sith deals in abs n glutes

Don't step on the chickens

Three men die and come to the pearly gates. They swing open and they hear the voice of god booming: "Be welcome to heaven, but don't step on the chickens!" and as far as the eye can see there are chickens EVERYWHERE.

One guy is like, "forget this!" and instantly steps on a chicken. They hear ...

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A middle aged woman goes to a plastic surgeon....

And says, "Look, doc, I'm feeling a little saggy and wrinkly in the face, but I live out in the country and I don't want to have to keep coming back to see you, so give me something that lasts."

The doctor says, "well you're in luck. There's a new product on the market called 'The Knob.' Basi...

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Grandfather dropped a bomb today I'll never forget

We stopped at a shitty diner in the middle of nowhere in the midwest. The people looked like they hadn't slept in a year and had eaten meth for a week from their missing teeth and saggy cheeks.

**Me:** Jesus, these people look like zombies

**Gramps:** Yeah and they're probably starvin...

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Do you like...

Two men at the docks taking a break when one asks the other:

"Vinnie, do you like a woman who has blonde beautiful hair or one that has ratty brown hair?"

"Of course I prefer blondes."

"And Vinnie, do you like women with perky full breasts or saggy baggy breasts?"

"Of cou...

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A morbidly obese man

visits his doctor.

“Doc,” he says, “I can’t stand being this fat anymore. Please help.”

“Alright, let’s get to work”, replies the doctor. After many months of diet and exercise, the man winds up loosing hundreds of pounds. An unfortunate side effect though is that he has all this loos...

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There's this young lady looking for a place to stay.

There's this young lady looking for a place to stay. She doesn't know anyone in town so she's browsing the small ads.

All the rooms for rent are way out of her league. She's just a young student and she doesn't have that kind of money. Finally she sees an advert for a room that she thinks she...

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A middle aged woman was looking at herself in the mirror...

... And she kept talking to herself about her appearance.

- Look at your saggy boobs, I mean they used to be so perky and full and now look at these empty skin socks.

- Wow, the years have not been kind to your butt, you could have bounced a quarter off of my apple shaped bottom and lo...

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A businessman dies and gets to meet StPeter

Peter knows of the mans history and so offers him either, he enters hell for all eternity OR he can climb the “Ladder to success” a literal golden ladder.

Of course he chooses to climb.
StPeter imposes his terms, once you leave one level of the ladder you may only go up.

So agree...

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