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Kermit the frog walks into a bank...

He wants to get a loan and so he speaks to the bank’s loan officer, Mr. Paddywack. Mr. Paddywack asks Kermit how much money he wants to borrow and what is the purpose of the loan. Kermit replies that he needs $5,000 to fix up his lilly pad and to do some other swamp maintenance. Mr. Paddywack is int...

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So a hunter goes out to the forest

He’s just looking for a simple blacktail deer, but he hears big footsteps so he walks to the edge of a clearing. In the middle of the clearing, there’s a huge bear. The farmer aims down his sights, and shoots the bear. He looks up, and the bear is gone.

Suddenly, he feels a *tap tap tap* on h...

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One day the pope decided to throw all the Jews out of Rome...

He made an announcement to the Jewish community: "Send me your smartest scholar to convince me why I should let the Jewish people stay and I may reconsider my stance." The Roman Jewish community sent Rabbi Moshe, a 78 year old Hebrew school teacher and, according to everyone but himself, the smartes...

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I made up a shit 'Dad Joke'

I was talking to my friend the other day, he's a lawyer and was complaining about the current trial he was involved in.
Me: "What is it about?"
Lawyer: "The accused used a leather satchel to beat another man to death"
Me: "Oh, do you expect it to go on much longer?"
Lawyer: "No, it's a b...

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So a frog walks into a bank . . .

The frog walks up to Ms. Whack, the loan officer and sits down.

“What can I do for you?” She asks.
“I would like a loan, please.”

The loan officer tells him the terms then explain that typically the bank requires some sort of collateral to make a loan. The frog reaches into his sa...

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