UPJOKE
supermarketaustraliacompanyenterprisecorporationmotorolabusinessconservancyfreemasonrycooperativeorganisationcorporateorganizationmultinationalinterpol

Safeway Jokes

A guy wanted his wife dead so he hired Crazy Arti to murder her. Arti said he would do it for a dollar because, well, he's crazy.

The husband said she always goes to the grocery store on Thursday so they decided to do it then. The day came and unbeknownst to Arti, the wife brought her friend with her so he strangled them both inside the grocery. The headline in the local newspaper the following day said...

ARTICHOKES ...

How do you fit 1,000,000 elephants in a Safeway?

You take the S from Safe and the F from Way

Artie wants to join the mob

So he arranges for an audience with the mob boss and makes an offer. “I’ll do anything you ask for 1 dollar.” The boss thinks it over, “ok my rival boss shops at Safeway everyday at 11:00 I want you to be there and kill him.” So he waits at the Safeway until he sees the rival boss, walks up behind h...

Murder at Safeway

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and arranging to have her killed.

A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious...

How do you get an elephant in a Safeway carrier bag?

You take the "F" out of "way"


(It took me a while, so don't feel bad, try not to spoil it!)

Why are there so many Albertsons?

Because Albert didn’t know there was a Safeway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Charles the Banana

Charles was a banana at the local Safeway, where he sat on the shelf with all the other bananas. Charles waited every day to be picked when, finally, a man picks up Charles in his bunch and buys him.

When Charles got home, the man put Charles on the counter. "Oh boy," he thought, "I'll final...

Three couples go to join a church....

Three couples want to join a church, so they each walk in and talk to the pastor. The pastor replies to their inquiry, "To prove you are a valuable member of the clergy I want you to commit to three months of abstinence to show your commitment to the church." The couples agree and go on their way to...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.