A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says: “So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?”
“Bernie,” she says. “I want a divorce”.
“My goodness,” he says. “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”
Ready for Thanksgiving, steps for a great Turkey!!!
Step 1. Buy a turkey Step 2. Have a glass of wine Step 3. Stuff the turkey Step 4. Have a glass of wine Step 5. Put turkey in oven Step 6. Relax and have a glass of wine Step 7. Turk the bastey Step 8. Wine of glass another get Step 9. Hunt for meat thermometer Step 10. Gl...
This joke gets told EVERY Thanksgiving... Might as well (re)post it here. "How to cook a turkey"
"How to cook a turkey"
Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Turkey Dinner Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Cup of Beer Step 6: Take 3 more whiske...