UPJOKE
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Rn Jokes

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A young guy goes into a drug store owned by two spinster sisters.

He awkwardly says to the one lady at the pharmacy counter, "Um, this is embarrassing but I have this condition where about once a day I become incredibly aroused and overcome by the desire to have sex with any woman at all. It's overwhelming! What can you give me for it?"

"Hmm," replied the l...

What starts with PO, ends with RN and goes great with TV?

Popcorn

Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?

He was Bjorn again.

Cop joke.

So I’m an ER RN and we love to joke around. Had two cops in with a patient. I deadpanned “ I heard there’s been ppl stealing tires off (local) cop cars…. The one cop says “I haven’t heard anything about this “.
So… I said “I’ve heard the police are tirelessly investigating it.”
First cop high...

I was involved in a car crash last night.

As I regained consciousness from last nights car crash.

The Doctors were trying to convince me that I'm actually a Swedish guy who has forgotten his identity...

But I am having none of it. I wasn't Bjorn yesterday!

Other hole

A Greek father was talking to his daughter on her wedding day. He says daughter you don’t have to let your husband put it in the other hole if you don’t want to. Later that night the husband says turn over my love. I want to put it in the other hole. The wife screams: I don’t have to if I don’t want...

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Vladimir Putin and his driver die in a car accident

Not surprisingly, they end up in Hell. The Devil gives them choice - they can go to Russian Hell, or American Hell. They look around and don't see much difference between the two; really, they both look fairly nice and pleasant. The Devil lets them know, however, that each morning, they must eat ...

Hope you all stay healthy

Cuz the future doctors are cheating in their exams rn

ROBOT FOR SALE

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some homework."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house wa...

What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

CoRnY

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome

He mentioned the trip to his barber who responded…
“Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?
It’s crowded and dirty and full of tourists.
You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”
“We’re taking American Airlines,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”
“American ...

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A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery

He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound w...

To the fellow that gave me his typewriter

Yo can rn bt yo can't hide

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hunter wants his wife to go hunting with him

His wife says she doesn't want to go. The husband replies, "Well, if you're not going with me. I want either a blow job or to butt fuck you, your choice. I'm going to go outside and get the dog ready."

So while the husband was outside, the wife thinks about it for awhile and decides to give h...

What's the difference between a seagull and a pelican?

You can't sea a pelican.





Note: I'm actually on laughing gas rn btw.

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Buss Nun

So this guy is on the bus and he sees the hottest nun ever and he's like "damn. I need some of her in my life." So he goes up to her and being a blunt man asks is she wants to have sex. She promptly replies with "hellllll no, I'm a virgin and a nun." So now the guy is all sad and he watches the nun ...

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