This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sitting on the examination table, a man says “D-D-Doctor I have a t-terrible st-t-utter and it ruins my p-p-professional and p-p-personal life.”

The doctor checks him out almost everywhere but sees no problem.

He says “take off your pants for me”.

The man hesitates but abides.

The doctor inspects him and says “I see! Your penis is about 6 inches too long, it’s pulling on your vocal chords and causing you to stutter”. ...

What is white, loud, and ruins your scrambled egg?

An avalanche.

My archaeologist friend was looking sad at work, so I asked him if there was something wrong

"Of course there is!" He said.

"My work is in ruins!"

Nothing ruins your Friday

Like finding out it’s only Thursday.

What do you call an old, grumpy Avatar that comes back and ruins the economy every time you send him away?

A Boomer Aang.



P.S. I'm so sorry.

My family gatherings follow Jenga rules

No winners. Just one big looser who ruins it for everyone else. Thanks uncle Steven.

My career’s in ruins!

A man walks into a bar and finds its patrons raucously celebrating with a young man standing on the bar shouting for more drinks, on him.

He walks up to the bar and shouts to the young man, “What’s the occasion?”

“My career’s in ruins!” the lad cackles.

The man, shocked, replies...

An archaeologist goes to search for some ancient ruins.

He trekked through the desert for 5 hours, but at last he found them.

Looking at the wall, he saw a stone engraving indicating there was fresh water only a short walk away.

The archaeologist then said "That's a relief!"

Because it ruins the joke.

Why should you never put a punchline in the title?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nothing ruins sex with a monkey faster than...

Remembering you work in an AIDS research lab.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Called my wife the other day from work: “BABE MY LIFE IS IN RUINS”

Her: For the last time you are an archeologist and this shit is getting old

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What food ruins sex?

Wedding cake

Which game ruins the most relationships??

Russian Roulette

People say gambling ruins lives, but it brought our family closer.

We now live in a one bedroom unit.

You know what really ruins my day?

Waking up in the morning.

My career is in ruins.

It’s great being an archaeologist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was this farmer, Farmer John, who had a prize-winning bull.

Unfortunately, at the beginning of the breeding season, the bull had no interest in mating. Couldn't get it up at all.

Farmer John called Bill the veterinarian to come out and look at the bull. Bill checked the bull all over and said, "Well, there is nothing physically wrong with the bull. T...

If you read the bible backwards its about a man sent to earth on a cross who is helped down by some Romans and told to go on his way. He then travels the world making people blind and giving them leprosy. He even ruins a meal for a huge crowd by turning all their food into 2 fish and 5 loaves.

He gets fewer followers as time goes by and in the end he's lying in a stable and 3 old men steal all his presents.

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