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Pure Gold Jokes

What does pure gold taste like?

Crunchy. Because it is comprised of 24 carrots.

The new memes about the Trump spray tan picture are pure gold

Or maybe more of a bronze...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I sat on my hand for a while, then masturbated with it. It was pure gold.

Thank you, kind stranger.

Two teenagers, Fred and Joe, meet after school and Fred is all excited.

“Man I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to this dude’s house and guy had toilets made of pure gold!”


“No way!”


“Yes way,” insists Fred, “come with me and check it out for yourself if you don’t believe me.”
\-
Twenty minutes later they’re ringing...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Definition of Politics

A Russian Jew successfully secured relocation to Israel.

At the Moscow airport, when conducting a search of his belongings, the customs official found a statue in his case.

He asked the traveler:

‘What is this?’

The traveler replied:

‘That is the wrong question, co...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man comes home to his wife...

... at 3AM completely drunk. His wife is not happy and demands an explanation.
Man: "I'm sorry but I was at the most amazing bar and I couldn't leave"
Wife: "What bar?"
Man: "It's called the Golden Saloon and everything there is made of pure gold! The doors are pure gold, the cups are pure...

A team of Swiss archaeologists discovered a new tomb in the middle of the Egyptian desert

They uncovered the tomb, and entered its dark cobweb-filled caverns. After digging and digging, they reached the center of the tomb, a burial chamber filled with treasures.

And at the center of the chamber, a sarcophagus made of pure gold. And once they opened it, they found an unnamed body, ...

What do you call an airplane that flies backwards?

a receeding airline.... bada boom! The little bros joke book is pure gold haha

There once was a rich man who was near death.

He was very much aggrieved because he had worked very hard for his money, and he wanted to be able to take it with him to Heaven.

So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth.

An angel heard his plea and appeared to him. “Sorry, but you can’t take your wealth ...

Au

Don't you dare downvote. That joke was pure gold.

A man and his dog were walking along a road

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them..

After a while, they came to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his wife went to a fancy dinner party at a friend’s estate...

...while there, the husband, feeling the luxurious meal, embarks on a journey to the restroom. After a good bit of time he returns and his wife begins to ask if he is feeling alright.

Interrupting, he enthusiastically describes “the most beautiful, wonderful toilet anybody has ever seen! Made...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher asks little Johnny to tell the class what he thinks sex is

Little Johnny was getting to that age, so in class the teacher wanted to know how much each student knew about sex. For that, she asked everyone to explain sex as they understood it.

First, little Mary explained it with the classic Birds and the Bees speech. "Good job, Mary", said the teache...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old but gold

Slightly old joke about Bill Clinton and former Serbian would be dictator, Slobodan Milosevic
(In a word for word translation to English, his name means: Freeman Gentlefuck)
Anyway, here is actual joke:

Milosevic goes to visit White House during Clinton's presidency.
He participate...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are walking through the desert and stumble across a big rock

- Hey, what a weird rock!

- Yes, it looks like a pyramid!

They both dig and discover a huge pyramid.

- Shit! It's a giant pyramid!

- What do we do with this?

- We should notify the American archaeological team. These people are professional and I'm sure they'l...

A Chinese and a Nigerian official meet each other at a meeting.

They soon became good friends and exchanged their business cards.


"If you ever come to China, call me and we can hang out!" says the Chinese official.


"Really? Cool! Same to you. If you ever come to Nigeria, call me and we can hang out!" says the Nigerian official.

6 mon...

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