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Dumbledore Jokes

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Why does Dumbledore give the best blow jobs at Hogwarts?

Because he's the headmaster.

Who is Dumbledore's cousin?

Dumblewindow.

Trump after Obama is like Umbridge after Dumbledore.

R.I.P

As Dumbledore stood there stroking his wand

Harry regretted transferring to Catholic School

Hagrid spreading Dumbledore's ashes into the winds.

"You're a blizzard Albus."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So turns out dumbledore was gay

Brings a whole new meaning to his title of “headmaster”

How does Dumbledore get down a hill?

Running....

J.K. Rolling

I call my girlfriend Dumbledore

Because she's the real headmaster

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Dumbledore turns to Mcgonagall

"Minerva, you're such a dear friend. There's something I've been meaning to share with you. You see, Minerva I'm gay."

Professor Mcgonagall looking quite shocked meets his eye,

"Why albus, you must be joking!"

"NO, minerva. I'm fucking Sirius"

Professor Snape and Eearmus

There was once a terribly misbehaving student at Hogwarts. His name was Eearmus. He wouldn't finish his homework or practice any of his incantations. The teachers were getting really impatient with Eearmus.

One day, Eearmus was extra mischievous and decided to play a prank on professor Snape...

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What did Harry Potter say when he found Dumbledore in bed with his godfather?

Are you fucking Sirius?

I finally found a good model of Dumbledore's memory viewer,

but it was too ex-pensieve...

I saw Sir Ian McKellan handing out leaflets about how Dumbledore and Merlin were fake clones of Gandalf

I had a look at one of the leaflets, and it turned out to be the usual propagandalf

Following the events of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, how did the Hogwarts payroll department satisfy the sudden termination of Albus Dumbledore?

Severus Package

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Who gives the best blowjobs at Hogwarts?

Dumbledore, he’s the head master

So I read J. K Rowlings announcments.

I finally understand how dumbledore got The title of headmaster.

Hogwarts' Spells

Two kids are fighting in Hogwarts, Dumbledore comes to seperate them and says loudly «You guys are Ex-spelled»

I recently got a new spoiler on my car...

It reads, “Snape kills Dumbledore.”

I can't hold in any of these spoilers any longer...

...Snape kills Dumbledore. The Titanic sinks. Brazil lost to Germany.

During quarantine - Lonely at home

I am lonely at home quarantined:

Day 1. Oh, that's nice.

Day 3. I read books and rest.

Day 5. I bingwatched "Friends".

Day 7. I talked to the washing machine, but I had worse days.

Day 9. My washing machine is angry. I never had worse days.

Day 11. I'm fine…...

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