Pres Jokes

The guard says "Didn't you hear? Trump isn't president any more. Biden is president." The guy walks away.

Next day, same guy goes up to the same guard and asks again:

"How do I get in to see President Trump?" And the guard says "Sir, I told you yesterday, Trump isn't president any ... read more

"Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried.

"My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!"

"Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.

"I do need your he... read more

Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice

Son: No

Dad: It's Bill Gates' daughter

Son: then ok

Dad: **Goes to Bill Gates**

Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son

Bill Gates: No

Dad: My son is the CEO of the world bank

Bill Gates: then ok<... read more

And he won't believe the scientists and the psycologists until he sees his own face. Of course they tell him "look in a mirror!" but he says "not good enough. I want more."

So many years pass, and the Pres manages to go about business like he doesn't mind, but as soon as he hears about how s... read more

...and he is looking around a hospital. When he goes into one ward, a patient sits up and exclaims "Wee, sleekit, cowerin', timorous beastie! O what a panic's in thy breastie!"

Not knowing quite what to make of this, the Pres goes on to the next bed where the patient cries out "Fair fa' you... read more

Alien: "Take me to your leader."

*Alien is brought to Pres. Trump.

Alien: "Good one! Seriously though. This is important."