UPJOKE
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Potus Jokes

It's not POTUS anymore

It's IMPOTUS.

"BREAKING NEWS- Potus now has Covid"

Genie- "Okay, now what are your other two wishes?"

What would Kanye’s first act as POTUS be?

He’d change “fish sticks” to “fish rods”

POTUS walks out of the white house

Heads towards his limo when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun.

A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts “Mickey Mouse!” This startles the would be assassin and he is captured.

Later, the secret service agent’s supervisor takes him aside and asks, “What in the hell ...

Jesus on his second coming visits POTUS

J: God be with you my son. I'm Jesus..

T: Ok.. So what are you doing on this side of the fence, amigo?

With the elections around the corner, do you know who had the best shot at POTUS?

Lee Harvey Oswald.

Eric Swalwell has become the first Democratic candidate to withdraw his bid for POTUS

I guess he passed the torch.

Can we please start referring to POTUS executive orders as...

The #TanCommandments?

McDonald's is providing a special crutch to all disabled customers for use in their bathrooms, but the POTUS doesn't like it.

It's called the john McCane.

The POTUS, Donald Trump is swept down a flooding river... You stand on the riverbank with a camera in one hand and a lifebuoy in the other. Now you have to make a choice....

Do you take a picture in colour or in black and white?

What's the most effective method of suicide?

Supplying the POTUS and the Royal Family with underage girls.

If we stop testing right now, we'd have very few cases, if any

-POTUS on covid

It’s bogus

That the potus has just showed us that his modus is to goad us like he’s filling up his quotas cause he’s on his two week notice

The US Postal service released a new stamp with a picture of Donald Trump on it, however the new stamp isn't sticking to envelopes. The POTUS got an investigation underway.

Investigation outcome:
There's nothing wrong with the stamp.
People are spitting on the wrong side.

June 7th, 2019, the day the moon became a part of Mars

Thanks POTUS.

In 2015, while addressing graduates of SMU, George W. Bush said;

"To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the 'C' students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States."



Then Donald Trump came and said “Bush has denied us, Americans our right to be POTUS!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump on tragedy

Donald Trump was visiting a primary school in Orlando and visited a grade four class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked Mr.Trump if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.' So our illustrious POTUS asked the class...

What do you call a disappearing President?

Hocus POTUS

What did the President say to the trick or treaters on Halloween?

"HOCUS POTUS!"

It's an old joke, it's long, but it's one of my favorites.

Dave and Mike are two friends and are hanging out, just talking and having a good time. Suddenly, the Prime Minister of Canada walks up to them with a huge smile on his face and says, "Hey Dave! Long time no see!" Mike is in shock and just listens to Dave and the PM chat, laugh and act lie they're o...

A joke we tell tourists in china

Back when the Terra-cotta Soldiers were discovered, Bill and Hilary Clinton decided to visit the site. It was also asked of the chinese officials arranging the tour, that the Clintons could meet the meek and old chinese man that discovered the Terra-cotta.

Back then, the Terra-cotta site was ...

The Bee Joke

Once, there was a bee who lived in a very complex bee hive. All the bees residing in this hive lived very happily with their own tasks and aspirations. However, this particular bee, named Bart, was quite special. He was an incredibly intelligent bee who matured and learned far faster than his bee pe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Drunk Sean Spicer

Sean Spicer had a few extra shots at the White House ball. Drunk as a skunk, he wandered the grounds until he came upon the Rochambeau statue in Lafayette Square.

As he sat puking in the bushes, he suddenly heard a distinct pssssttt... Afraid that a MSNBC journalist might catch him in this st...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gary Smith

Gary Smith is employed at a small factory of a huge multinational corporation in the small town of Sandberg near LA. One day, the CEO decides to visit Gary's factory. Huge preparations are made to properly welcome the CEO. At one point, the CEO asks the following question.

'Hey, but where is ...

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