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Post Malone Jokes

Post Malone Has Started His Own Student Loan Service in an Attempt to Lift the Burden Off of New Graduates

It's called "Post Malone's Post Pone Ma Loans"

Post Malone lost 60 lbs by cutting out pop.

I wonder what kind of music he'll make now.

Post Malone may be a popular rapper, but have you heard of his long-lost cousin Ho Malone?

His most popular track is about some kid named Kevin who has to fight off burglars in his house.

Did you hear about Post Malone falling while performing?

He seems okay now. It was just a stage he was going through.

Just Post Malone things

Q: What did Post Malone eat for breakfast?
A: Toast Malone

Q: What did Post Malone spray on before he left the house?
A: Post Cologne

Q: what do you call it when Post Malone invites you to his house?
A: Host Malone

Q: what do you call post-pubertal post Malone?
A:...

Why did Post Malone's promiscuous behavior get him the nickname 'Kevin McAllister?'

Because he was Ho Malone.

I don’t like Post Malone

I’d rather post together!

What is post Malone’s favorite fruit?

Watermalone

Have you met Post Malone's introvert brother?

Leave M'Alone

What do you call Post Malone after he forgot his phone overseas?

Post Ma Phone

What's the difference between Sam Smith and Post Malone?

One's good at goodbye and the other isn't.

Why does Post Malone only perform 6 days a week?

There's no post on Sundays.

If you've heard of Post Malone maybe you've heard of Ho Malone

It's this classic movie about a young boy who gets left behind by his family at Christmas and has to defend his house from burglars.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BREAKING NEWS: Post Malone announces he will only be scheduling shows Monday thru Saturday

Guess there's no Post on Sundays

What happened to Post Malone after his unexpected death?

A Post Mortem.

Do you remember when everyone was worried about Post Malone?

Everyone thought he was on drugs or something, but I’m sure he’s fine. We should just Leave Malone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a delayed album release by Post Malone?

Post-Poned!

Article on the future of L.A. rapper "Post Malone" was withdrawn from print by local mail service.

Or


Post on post-Post Malone's career and goals was postponed from posting by postal service.

Post Malone and his family went out for dinner, while his sister was the only person left in the house. When they came back, they found out the neighbours had started referring to her as a promiscuous woman.

After all, she was Ho Malone.

Parents: "You better go home."

Post Malone: "Naw."

Parents: "HOME, MALONE!"

Post Malone: "Yeah aight..."

How do you stop Post Malone stealing your weed?

Hide it under a bar of soap

There are two eras of modern rap...

Pre Malone and Post Malone

I propose we divide the music of 2010s into two distinct eras, centered around the release of "White Iverson" in 2015.

We could call it Pre- and Post Malone

I finally paid off my student debt.

To celebrate, I decided to go to a concert. It was Post Malone.

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