Dallas Cowboys Jokes - 26 Hilarious Dallas Cowboys Jokes

What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?

He turns off the PlayStation.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Postal Service have in common?

Both, don't deliver on Sundays.

The NFL should start showing Dallas Cowboys games on the history channel

Because their fans always love to talk about the past

What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?

They can both make crowds of 100,000 stand up and yell Jesus.

What's the difference between a cry baby and Dallas Cowboys fans?

Eventually the baby stops crying

Rooting for the Dallas Cowboys is the most authentic fan experience in sports.

Just like them, you too can watch the playoffs from the comfort of your couch at home.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three football fans were driving along when they

saw a body in the undergrowth. Stopping their car, the three guys ran over to see what they could do. Unfortunately, they found the nude body of a deceased young woman. Being gentlemen, the first guy dropped his Chicago Bears hat over one breast. The second guy, a Tampa Bay Bucs fan, placed his hat ...

How does Dallas Cowboys fans change a lightbulb?

They don't... they just talk about how good the old one was.

You hear about the Anthrax scare at the Dallas Cowboys practice facility?

A white powder was found on the Dallas Cowboys practice field. The team offense had never seen anything like it.

Upon further inspection, it turned out to be the goal line.

I saw a sad Dallas Cowboys fan at the bar, so I bought him a beer and asked him what's wrong...

"See, it's like this, sir... I found a lamp at the beach, an' when I rubbed it, a big genie appeared in a cloud of smoke. It really was sumpthin', I tells ya. Anyhow, He says 'You have three wishes'... and well, I'm not good at thinkin' on my feet, and under pressure, so I kinda said 'Gee, I wish ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I call my dick "the Dallas Cowboys"

Because it can't last a day without getting beat, it doesn't have any rings on it, and it disappoints everybody who wants to look at it.

What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl?

Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.

A little girl stands before a judge at her custody hearing

The judge asks "would you like to live with your mom?"

The little girl, horrified, shakes her head and says, "No! My mom beats me. I never want to live with her!"

The judge, taken aback a bit, says, "We can give custody to your father, and you can live with him."

"No!" The littl...

What's the difference between a dollar and the Dallas Cowboys?

A dollar is good for four quarters.

Never by a blanket from the Dallas Cowboys secondary...

...they can't cover anybody!

What do the Dallas Cowboys and vaping have in common?

They both can't beat a pack

Female Cowboys fans

Why is it considered safe to date a girl who’s a Dallas Cowboys fan?

Because she will never expect a ring!

What do you call 50 men watching the Superbowl?

The Dallas Cowboys.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bragging Doctors

Doc 1 bragged, "I had a patient once who blew out his ACL & MCL. I reconstructed his knee, and 2 years later he completed the Boston marathon."

Doc 2 replied, "That's nothing! I had a patient who was in a head-on collision with a truck. I reconstructed virtually all of his joints and more...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 4th grade '49ers fan in Dallas

The scene is a 4th grade classroom in Dallas, Texas. The teacher asks for a show of hands:

"Hey kids, how many of you are Dallas Cowboys fans?"

Everyone in the class raises their hand, except for little Suzy. The teacher says:

"Little Suzy, I notice you didn't raise your hand. W...

Heartbreaking

Dallas Morning News - A 15 year old boy was at the center of a Dallas County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with chil...

Little boy in custody battle.

Hey mother and father were in a heated custody battle for their son. The judge asks the little boy,"Do you want to go live with your mother?". Little boy replied,"No she beats me." The judge says "Oh,do you want to live with your dad?". Once again the little boy replied " No, he beats me." so the ju...

best joke ever!

The Dallas Cowboys.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks

After three weeks the Syrians meet again at McDonald's the first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practise and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it's Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby...

Two parents are getting a divorce...

The judge gets to the point in which custody of their only daughter should be decided, he begins by asking her

"Do you want to live with your daddy?"

she replies, "No, he beats me"

the judge then asks, "Do you want to live with your mommy?"

she replies, "No, she beats me"...

After a day of entertaining the troops, the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders meet with the base commander to discuss the rest of the evening.

“Would you girls like to mess with the enlisted men or the officers this evening?” the commander asks.

“I don’t think it matters to the ladies,” the head cheerleader says, “but I’m sure a lot of the girls would like to get something to eat first.”

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