Kanye West

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take...

So apparently Kanye West is running for president

My question is, will he let the other candidates finish their speeches?

What would you hear if you had Michael Jackson and Kanye West in the same room?

YE-YE.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are divorcing.

After naming their kids after directions they're the ones going south.

I laughed in disbelief when I saw Kanye West was running for president.

But with his recent incoherent twitter ramblings, he seems like he is more than qualified.

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What does Kanye West and the North Korean people have in common?

Both are regularly fucked by Kim.

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What do Kanye West and Pikachu have in common?

During sex they both yell their own names.

What’s Kanye West’s brilliant economic plan as president?

To put 50 cent into the Treasury

If Kanye West is running ...

I think Vanilla Ice should run for president at some point as well. He'd have a solid campaign slogan "If there was a problem, I'll solve it" and he'd make everyone collaborate and listen.

If Kanye West and Kim Kardashian both caught on fire in your gym and you only had ONE bucket of water.....

.... would you squat or deadlift first?

Kanye West Concedes After Failing to Get 0.5% of Vote in Early Returns

Now he is an electoral college drop out

Kanye West invited me to his presidential rally, I told him I'd only go if I could wear X-Ray goggles, he asked me why?

I said to him, "I already know you're crazy, but now I can see your nuts too!"

How does Kanye West screw in a lightbulb?

He holds the lightbulb and the world revolves around him.

If Kanye West actually won the US Election and became the president, I think he would turn America into a communist nation.

Because he believes no one man should have all that power.

So everyone is freaking out that Kanye West wants to run for President ...

Everyone just needs to take it Yeezy!

I was in this bar in LA, and Kanye West walks in...He looks around and just walks back out.

Oh well. Yeezy come, Yeezy go.

Kanye West was hospitalized...

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the hospital staff at this difficult time.

Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service...

and says "Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"

Why did Donald Trump invite Kanye West round to help with his Christmas presents?

Because Kanye is Trump's favourite wrapper.

I like Kanye West as much as the next guy...

...as long as the next guy isn't Kanye West.

Kanye West inspires Donald Trump to become a rapper.

The name of his first album?

"*Orange Is The New Black"*

What does Kanye West eat for breakfast?

Omelette you finish this joke.

Kanye West compares himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney, and Steve Jobs.

Apparently none of them could sing, either.

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If, according to Kanye West, one good girl is worth a thousand bitches, and if, according to Lil' Wayne, bitches come a dime a dozen

That means one good girl is worth $8.33 (USD), no Wonder 50 cent couldn't afford a good girl.

Kim Khardasian and Kanye West named their children North West and Saint West. But to prove I'm a worse parent...

I plan on naming my children...Kim Khardashian and Kanye West

How did Caitlyn Jenner and Kanye West settle an argument?

They went outside and exchanged blows.

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What did Kanye West say when he saw the Red Wedding episode of Game of Thrones?

Dat shit Frey.

[Long] Once 5 people were on a plane...

1. Kanye West,
2. Bill Gates,
3. Donald Trump,
4. Joe Biden,
5. and a school girl

Suddenly the plane developed a technical snag and only 4 parachutes were available.

Kanye says, "I am world's greatest talent. I must live." He takes a parachute and jumps.

Gates say...

What do you call it when Kanye West doesn't believe in you?

Ye of little faith.

Kanye West is sitting at a bar having a drink.

He notices an old man sitting next to him tapping two coins in a rhythmic fashion.
"Excuse me," Kanye asks, "what are you doing with those coins?"
"Well," the old man answers, "these are two quarters. You can make a phone-call with them, or just tap them on the bar." And he continues to ta...

[All credit to Ana Kasparian from the TYT Network] So, I heard Kim Kardashian is having Kanye West's baby...

At least she let him finish.

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish


-stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Kanye West was found alive in his apartment today.

Another sad day for the music industry in 2016.

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Kanye’s rise to fame

Right before dropping out of college and kick starting his rap career, Kanye West went to visit his wealthy aunt, Shirlie Faulker, who owned a rubber products manufacturing factory on the outskirts of Paris, France. He decided to spend his summer break working at the factory part time while deciding...

The lastest celebrity to ditch plastic is....

Kanye West

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An aspiring rapper finds a genie in a bottle...

"What are your three wishes?" the genie asks?

"First, I want to bring back Tupac and Biggie," he says. POOF! Tupac Shakir and Notorious B.I.G. appear beside him.

"Next I want to us all to live in Snoop's crib." POOF! The three are kicking it inside Snoop Dogg's huge mansion.
...

An old man's dream

"I dream to be the president of USA just like my school friend." an old man said.

"Who is your friend , Biden or Trump ?"

"Neither. His name is Kanye West"

"But he is not the president of USA"

"Correct, he dreams to become the president."

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"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "...

Absence makes the heart grow fonder unless?

it's Kanye West.

It’s nice to see that celebrities have taken up book writing during the pandemic

One Direction by Kanye West

Guitars by Mel Gibson

Mining by Brad Pitt

Pear Cider by Katy Perry

Ship Building by Tom Cruise

How to Move Things by Jim Carrey

Escape from Prison by Morgan Freeman

American Motors by Harrison Ford

Wild Animals by Wi...

Taylor Swift: "My reputation's never been worse, so you must like..."

Kanye: "Yo, Taylor, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you finish, but Kanye West has one of the worst reputations of all time!"

Never give your kids stupid names.

You might think it’s funny but they have to live with that for the rest of their lives. Take Kanye West for example. His kids, “North” and “Saint”. They’ve got to spend their whole lives telling people that their dad is called “Kanye”.

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I searched google for photos of Kim Kardashians asshole, but I think their servers are messed up.

All I get is photos of Kanye West

NASA recently confirmed what I've always suspected

...even Mars has more flow than Kanye West.

Chuck Norris won an award today

Kanye West sat politely in his seat.

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