UPJOKE
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Entendre Jokes

A beautiful woman walks into a bar. "What'll it be?" asks the bartender. "I'll have a double entendre," she said...

So he gave it to her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently saw an advertisement for a double entendre contest

So I entered my friend

One time, I wrote down so many double entendres...

...I had to rub one out.

A pun, a play on words, and a double entendre walk into a bar...

No joke.

The man who invented the double entendre died last week.

His wife's taking it hard.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm trying to give up Viagra and improve my double entendres.....

But it's not easy

I was sitting at my desk, trying to think of a double entendre...

...but it got really hard.

I gotta stop the filthy double entendre jokes

But it's so, so hard

What do you call someone who tortures you to death with boring wordplay and double entendres?

PUNisher

Carpet fitters

An attractive lady hires two carpet fitters to replace the carpet in her sitting room after her pet parrot had made a terrible mess of the old carpet.
The two carpet fitters were stereotypical blue collar workers but had enough respect not to make any lewd jokes or double entendre at her expense...

My mom had two conjoined sisters and both of their names were Andra. When they were murdered, I gave up joking.

And mourned my double entendres.

A guy walks into a bar....

The bar tender ask "what can I get you?"

The man's says "I'll have an entendre."

The bartender asks "would you like a single or a double?"

The man says "I think I'll have a double entendre."

The bartender says with a smirk "So you want the big one."

A man goes into a bar where, instead of drinks, they sell words and phrases...

he asks the barman if they sell entendres. The barman says "yes" so the man says "ok, I'll have a double" and the barman says "oh, you mean a large one".

Why is it so hard to explain a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They don't understand the subtle nuances of the English language, so they can't pick up on the double entendres needed to appreciate a good pun. It may be a generalization, but in my experience that's how it works out.

A couple practices baseball together.

The girlfriend ends up as catcher, and the boyfriend pitches.

"Give me a pitch that'll blow me away!"

The boy thinks for a bit, then says
"Here, ill give you the double entendre pitch!"

He ended up nailing her.

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