What do french people call Marijuana?

Oui'd

A Native American, Pirate, and Frenchman walk into a bar.

The bartender walks over and says, "Gentlemen, hau, arrrrrrr, oui, today?"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German log on to a zoom call

The host wants to check if his video is working, so he says: “Can you all see me?”
The Englishman says “Yes”. The Frenchman says “Oui”. The Spaniard says “Si”. The German says “Ja”.

An English man, a French man, a Spanish man and a German man were watching a juggler.

An English man, a French man, a Spanish man and a German man were watching a juggler performing, but the juggler noticed they couldn’t see very well, so he stood on a crate and called out, “Can you see me now?”

They replied, “Yes,” “Oui,” “Si,” “Ja.”

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An American husband and wife are visiting a small town in France for their anniversary.

They decide to get brunch at a cute little cafe near their hotel.

After being seated and deliberating the short menu, the waiter arrives and asks, in a thick French accent, "allo, ca va?"

The man stops him, "Ah, sorry, we don't speak French. Do you--"

"--Ah, oui, not a problem. ...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are in a carnival

Watching a juggler juggle 4 burning fire brands. He notices that the four are quite short and are on their tiptoes just to be able to have a glance at his juggling skills.

Being the showman, he jumps on to a large wooden box while still keeping the firebrands juggling and asks, "Can y'all ge...

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I went into a bar in France

and asked the barman, "Do you have any proper beer in here or do you just serve that locally-produced piss?"

"Oui." he replied.

So I walked out and continued my search to find a proper pint.

Guy gets a job as a spy...

He's sent on his first mission, and told that the secret passphrase he has to give to contacts is, "The night-bird flies at dawn."

He's instructed to go to London, head to Piccadilly Circus, and speak to a guy in a purple fedora, busking. So he flies to London, goes to Piccadilly Circus, fin...

Do you know why the French invented the portapotty?

They needed somewhere to oui oui

What did the Scotsman say to the Frenchman at the urinal?

Oui oui.

A English man, a Spaniard, a French man, and a German. Go to a club. The guy on stage asks if they can see him. They said

“Yes””oui””si””ja”

Hopefully, you will understand

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all standing watching an American street performer do some juggling. The juggler notices the four gentlemen have a very poor view. So he stands up on a wooden crate and calls out ¨Can you see me now?¨ They respond...¨Yes¨,¨Oui¨,¨Si¨,¨Ja¨.

Job Interview

"It says here you are fluent in Spanish."

"Oui, Oui."

"Ok, that's french."

"Better add that to my resume as well."

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A Rare Dish

This is a long one.

An English cook is trying to build up his skills as a chef. He's been working for years learning all sorts of rare and unique dishes to serve at his mentor's restaurant.

One day a wealthy guest at the restaurant asks to meet the cook and says "While I enjoyed the me...

What drug do French people use to get high?

Oui’d

The Talking Cat (Original)

Two French brothers are out fishing when one hooks something on his line. After a lot of huffing and puffing by the two of them, they pull up a small wooden chest. They open it, and inside there is a small tabby cat with a note that says "This is a magical talking cat. Please take care of him."...

An American man, a French man, a Spanish man and a German man are standing on the sidewalk, trying to watch a street performer juggle bowling pins.

The juggler notices they're having a bit of trouble, so he stands on a large wooden box and says to them, "Can you see me now?"

They answer one at a time:

"Yes."

"Oui."

"Sí."

"Ja."

An English man, French ,Italian and German are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer.

The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded: "Yes" "Oui" "Sì" "Ja"

What do the French use as slang for marijuana?

“Oui-d”

4 people go on vacation together.

One of them speaks English, another speaks French, the third speaks Spanish , and the last speaks German. They see a crowd gathering in the street and go over to see what’s going on. There is a performer in the middle of the crowd. He notices that the four are struggling to see him so he stands on a...

When the France 1924 Olympics were held...

...did they compete in Oui Sports?

What’s a French persons favourite gaming console?

A Nintendo Oui

What do you call a French hot dog?

A Oui-ner

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What do Frenchmen call their penises?

Their oui ouis

What do you call a boy that’s half Scottish and half French?

A oui lad

It's the First World War, and a French Battalion and a German Battalion face each other in the trenches.

It's a rather slow day, and the Krauts sit bored in their trenches. Then, a young corporal speaks: "We really need to kill more frenchies! What can we do to lure them out?"
A young recruit asks, "What is a typical french name?"
Another answers, "Pierre."
The young recruit gets up, puts his ...

With cannabis being legal for over a year in canada, every province has access to weed except Quebec.

They only get oui'd

An Englishmen, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are watching a street magician perform his routine from a good distance away. Half way through, the magician looks around and notices how far away the men are and asks, "Can you see me ok?"

"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"

A better version of a joke I just read

I asked a French girl if she smoked, would she prefer marijuana or tobacco?

She said..... ouied

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two students and a teacher want to have sex with foreign exchange students.

One student goes for the French student, and the whole time she screams, "Oui! Oui! Oui!"

The other student gets with a Spanish student, and she screams, "Sí! Sí! Sí!"

The teacher locks a German student in his office, the whole time she screams, "Nein! Nein! Nein!" He replies, "Really?...

An American, Frenchman, Israeli, Spaniard, and a German are on a video call. Their boss logs in and starts the meeting by askng "How's my connection, can everybody see me alright?" They answer:

"yes", "oui", "ken", "si", "ja"

What's the best thing about dating a French guy?

Their oui oui.

A Frenchman, an Englishman, a German and a Spanish man go to a dolphin show

The dolphin jumps in the air, but the 4 men couldn’t see the dolphin
The Englishman shouts, “We can’t see you!”
The dolphin jumps higher and says “Can you see me now?” And the 4 men reply
“Yes!”
“Oui!”
“Si!”
“Ya!”

French Class

Student: "may I use the restroom professor?"

Professor: "oui oui"

Stundent: "no professor, DOO DOO"

A man with a dog walks into a bar.

The bartender says “Is that a French poodle, because he’s going oui oui all over the place”

Four friends are touring Europe...

One is English, one is French, one is Spanish, and the last one is from Germany. In Paris, they see a group gathered around a street performer. After several minutes of trying to see with no avail, he notices them trying to see him and stands on a box and shouts to the four friends, "Can you gents i...

What is a French policeman’s favourite past time?

Playing his oui u.

An Englishman, Frenchman, Spaniard and German are watching a street performer do some impressive juggling

As they watch him he throws flaming sticks in the air and twists them between his fingers before catching them with ease, he decides to start the next part of the act and slowly climbs up a tall ladder. Once at the top he spies the four men at the back, behind everyone in the audience who appear to ...

What does a French couple making love and an Ambulance have in common?

They both go OuiOuiOuiOuiOui.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The 10 Commandments

So an Archangel comes from heaven to give humanity these nifty new commandments from God.

First he goes to the French and says:

"I have new Commandments from God, would you like to hear them?"

"Ah, oui? What do zey say?"

"For example: Thou shalt not commit adultery"
...

An Englishman, Frenchman, Spaniard, and German

all head down the street when they notice a crowd huddled around a street preformer. His juggling routine is the best the town has ever seen.

Before he begins his grand finale, he notices the stragglers in the back and asks "does everybody have a good view?"

"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"...

An American, an Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German walk into a bar...

...and don't order a thing.

The bartender, concerned that perhaps they somehow didn't notice him through the crowded bar, calls out to them. "I can help you down here!" It's a bit loud, so he calls out again. This time, the gang responds.

"Yes!"
"Oui!"
"Si!"
"Ja!"

My French Coach gave me the spirit of a loser..

Yes, We can’t spell “oui” without “i”

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My friend said he could speak German, French and Scottish.

When I didn't believe him he said, "Ja Oui Bastard."

Is my French girlfriend fond of golden showers?

Oui...

I bought a German Ouija board.

It's a Jaja board.

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