UPJOKE
lowrohheedeedoobahkeehooyownahsooreebaautteremit

Moi Jokes

What do you think is history's SHORTEST joke? My submission is Miss Piggy's 2 worder :

"Pretentious? ...*MOI ?"*

Viens a moi (NSFW)

Two women walked into a department store, stopped at the perfume counter and picked up a sample bottle. One sprayed the perfume on her wrist and smelled it. "That's nice, isn't it?" Sharon said waving her arm under her friend's nose. "Yeah. What's it called?" "Viens a moi." "Viens a moi? What's that...

Who speaks 1 word of French and can kiss like the best in the world?

Moi

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too)

*It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:*

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool.

The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?"

Then the little Dimitri, all excited, an...

Foreign Language

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says.
The two Englishmen just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" The two continue to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?" No resp...

The European Union is proposing to build a public toilet in Brussels.

They put the job out to tender. They get in 3 responses.


First in is Hans from Germany. He gets straight to the point. "I'll build it for €30,000."
The Eurocrat behind the desk looks up from his note pad. "Can you give us some more detail, Hans?"
"Ja! €10,000 labour, €10,000 m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call masturbating in French?

Menage a moi.

To prevent spreading coronavirus, Aha's Morten Harket doesn't physically kiss people.

He just get close to them and says "moi,


which is a different take on me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Different sayings same thing

1. Having a threesome with a couple of no-shows.

2. DJ the VJ.

3. Dopamine farming.

4. Double clicking your mouse.

 5. Badgering the witness.

6. Summoning the semen demon.

7. Blood bending.

8. Shaking hands with the unemployed.

9. Making Jesus ...

What do yeast and a redneck have in common?

They're both usually found with beer and inbred.

-&y (written by moi)

One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop.

The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled “Viens Chez Moi.

”The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, “Come to Me.”

So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, “Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn’t smell like co...

Two English chavs

English chav 1: Oi lost moi dog, innit.
English chav 2: Blimey, you doin' something to find it?
English chav 1: Yeah, I put posters up all over town, didden oi.
English chav 2: Wot you put on the posters then?
English chav 1: Here boy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yokel Logic

Two country types are sitting outside a university, when a man comes out. One of them stands up, and goes over to talk to this man.

He says ''Ello there, son. You look loike one of them clever university toipes. What is it that you're studyin' then?'

The man, slightly stunned, says, '...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.