What do you call a group of beached whales?

A tide pod.

Why did the beached whale go to the dentist?

He had shore teeth

What did the beached whale say to Chris Christie?

Well, looks like we both know how to empty a beach, huh?

On vacation this summer my wife took an early morning walk on the beach while the kids and I ate breakfast.

When my wife got back she said there was a beached whale and we needed to see it. My son said "well it's not beached anymore, you're standing right there."

Worst son-burn ever.

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