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Oilfield Jokes

Two oilfield workers from North Dakota were on a trip to South Texas...

They went to sign on with a new drilling contractor when they were pulled over by a State Trooper.
 

The trooper walked up and tapped on the driver-side window with his nightstick.
 

The roughneck rolled down the window and *WHACK* - the trooper smacked him in t...

Three roughnecks - John, Lonnie, and Donnie - were working on a rig in the oilfield...

While they were working one day, John falls off the derrick (the rig tower) and is killed instantly. As the ambulance picks up his dead body and drives away, Lonnie says, "Somebody needs to go and tell his wife." Donnie replied, "I'll do it. I'm good with this sensitive stuff."
 

...

So my oilfield is haunted, turned out quite profitable...

Now I can sell Super-Natural Gas!

A police officer pulled over a roughneck (an oilfield worker) over for speeding. Here's what happened...

**Officer:** May I see your driver's license?
 

**Roughneck:** I don't have one - I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
 

**Officer:** May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
 

**Roughneck:** It's not my bike. I stole it.
&nbsp...

An oilfield worker drives past the same farm everyday and always notices this pig with 3 legs.

One day he finally decides to stop by the farm and ask the farmer what’s going on with that pig.

“Well,” the farmer says, “my house was burning down one day and my poor old dog was trapped in there. Full on flames and smoke and that pig ran in and saved my dog.”

“Did his leg burn off?...

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