UPJOKE
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Oe Jokes

I need a few brief jokes to tell to a group of elderly people. The punchlines need to be easily understood, and they need to be clean and not making fun of anyone with any kind of disability. Have any brief and fairly original jokes?

This one is good, although I’ll probably have to emphasize the ‘mispronouncing words’ part, and instead of blonde, the dummy will be me:

*A blonde is flying in a Boeing for the first time. She starts jumping on her seat shouting "Boeing Boeing Boeing".
The pilot, clearly annoyed by this, w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde joke

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."...

Back in college

Back in college...

I'll never forget back when I was in college. There was this guy.. he had a long Scandinavian name, none of us could pronounce it, so we just called him Oe. Anyway, Oe and I were in fencing class together, we thought it would be an easy A.

Now Oe, he was a big guy, ...

Two monkeys are in bath

The first monkey says: Oe-aa-ie-aa-oe.
The second monkey says: Shall I add some cold water?

A kid boards a flight for the first time in his life

Kid: What kind of flight is this mom?

Mom: Boeing

Kid: I'm boarding a Boeing, Boeing, Boeing, Boeing

Mom: Be silent you idiot

Kid: I'm oarding an oeing, oeing, oeing, oeing

P.S: Based on a true incident

What do you call a female pope?

oe

So a kid gets on a plane for the first time

and he is really excited about it. He is sitting inside the plane mid-flight when he finds out the plane's a Boeing. So he starts saying "Boeing.. Boeing.. Boeing.."

After a while when he doesn't stop the passengers start getting irritated, and the hostess comes along and tells the boy "Be Si...

Littl‌‌e J‌‌ohnn‌‌y w‌‌a‌‌s t‌‌ol‌‌d b‌‌‌‌y h‌‌i‌‌s f‌‌riend‌‌s t‌‌ha‌‌t a‌‌dult‌‌s h‌‌av‌‌e a‌‌‌‌ d‌‌ee‌‌p d‌‌ar‌‌k s‌‌ecre‌‌t a‌‌n‌‌d c‌‌a‌‌n b‌‌‌‌e e‌‌asil‌‌y m‌‌anipulated.

Johnn‌‌y d‌‌ecide‌‌s t‌‌‌‌o t‌‌es‌‌t i‌‌t‌‌. H‌‌‌‌e c‌‌ome‌‌s h‌‌ome‌‌, g‌‌oe‌‌s u‌‌‌‌p t‌‌‌‌o h‌‌i‌‌s m‌‌othe‌‌r a‌‌n‌‌d s‌‌ays‌‌, "‌‌Mom‌‌, I‌‌‌‌ k‌‌no‌‌w e‌‌verything.‌‌" M‌‌o‌‌m s‌‌hushe‌‌s h‌‌i‌‌m a‌‌n‌‌d g‌‌ive‌‌s h‌‌i‌‌m $‌‌10.

"Jus‌‌t d‌‌on'‌‌t t‌‌el‌‌l D‌‌ad‌‌" s‌‌h‌‌e s‌‌ays.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this lady is at a small grocer to buy some potatoes.

She does not see any, so asks the manager: "Sir, i am looking for one bag of potatoes". He replies that they have none in stock.

Lady: "I understand, but even half a bag will be fine for my needs"

Manager: "Lady, we don't have ANY potatoes in stock."

Lady: "Ok. But even if it is...

Why did the man steal mushrooms from the store?

Because he had no [morels](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-att-us&hl=en-US&oe=utf-8&safe=images&q=morel+mushrooms&source=browser-suggest&qsubts=1457412200783&action=devloc).

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