Oedipus wants to learn of his fate.

He travels to Thebes to consult the blind prophet Tiresias and asks him, "What does my future hold?"

Tiresias thinks quietly for a time and answers, "First you'll murder your father."

Oedipus is shocked to hear that he'll become a killer, but there must be more to his fate.

He ...

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I just heard a joke about Oedipus and Midas.

It was motherfucking gold.

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I read a book about Oedipus and Midas.

It was mother fucking gold.

Why is Oedipus bad at Latin?

He conjugated where he should have declined.

>!Latin verbs have conjugations and latin nouns have declinsions.!<

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I just noticed that Oedipus is trending.

It's gotta be for a motherfucking reason.

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[NSFW] What would you call Oedipus if he was a donkey?

A dumbass motherfucker

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If Medusa, King Midas, and Oedipus raised a child together

That would be one stone, gold motherfucker

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Why was Icarus afraid of Oedipus?

Because he was the motherfucking son.

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What did Samuel L. Jackson say when he met Oedipus?

'What's up, motherfucker?'

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Oedipus, Aphrodite and Midas walk into a bar...

... I forget the rest but I can assure you it’s mother-fucking gold.

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I’ve spent the last month working on a super detailed drawing of Oedipus.

It’s really been a motherfucker.

I just heard a joke about icarus and oedipus.

It’s about a guy that flew to close too your mom. Edit. Sp

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Sysiphus is rolling his stone up a hill when Oedipus passes him by teasing him: "Pushing it, I see?"

Sysiphus replies: "You motherfucker".

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They call me Oedipus Rex...

Caus I'm a motherfucking dinosaur.

Why doesn’t Oedipus curse?

Because he kisses his mother with that mouth

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A guy named Oedipus just hit me with a car.

That Motherfucker

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Do you have an Oedipus complex

Because you seem like a real motherfucker

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What did Onan say to Oedipus?

You can have sex with one hand, but it should never be your mother's.

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Why didn't Samuel Jackson get the lead role in the upcoming Oedipus movie?

Because he's a bad motherfucker.

Oedipus at social engagements:

Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Oedipus, this is my significant mother...

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I heard a joke about Oedipus and King Midas the other day.

I forget exactly how it went, but it was mother fuckin gold.

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I have a friend named Oedipus.

He's a real mother fucker.

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Oedipus travels to the future.

When he arrives, he is amazed by the wonders he sees around him. He finds the nearest person he can. "Where am I, and what age is this?"

"Athens, 2019" the man says sarcastically.

"Athens!? This looks nothing of the city I know, and you tell me I traveled 2500 years into the future!?"<...

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A guy in my English class was dissing my boy Oedipus.

So I said, "Well unlike you, he was unaware that he was fucking his mom."

...

I thought of this joke last night when I was supposed to be asleep. Someone tell me if this was already posted before.

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It's interesting how mythology has permeated our culture. Just look at Oedipus...

he's the most famous motherfucker around.

Oedipus joke

Oedipus: Oracle, what’s going to happen to me?

Oracle: You’re going to kill your father and marry Joe.

Oedipus: Who’s Joe?

Credit: Nik Linenberger - Twitter

Which Greek character is from alabama

Oedipus

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New in the fast-food market: Oedipus Fried Chicken

>!It's motherfucking good!!<

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I bought a disobedient donkey and named him Oedipus...

He’s a bad ass mother fucker!

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I wanted to borrow a copy of Oedipus Rex, but the library told me the city had banned it.

"Banned it?" I asked.

The librarian nodded. "Yes, for inappropriate content."

I blurted out "Motherfucker!".

She calmly replied "That's exactly why.".

What did Oedipus say when we went down on a girl?

Nom, mom, mom, mom.

What was Oedipus’ favorite food?

...edaMOMMY

Why is it impossible to keep Oedipus from cheating at Scrabble?

He's always trying to look at his mother's rack.

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I hated studying Oedipus Rex in high school.

That play was a real mother fucker.

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People wonder why I get extremely mad whenever they tell a joke about Oedipus Complexes..

I’m just so TIRED of these *MOTHERFUCKING* jokes!

New Redneck word: Oedipus

My uncle Ed’s got bladder problems, you‘d be amazed how long it takes Oedipus!

I just read Oedipus The King and man, let me tell you

That guy was royally screwed !

Why did Oedipus become an archeologist?

He liked uncovering mummies.

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HERCULES: Hey Perseus, have you seen my beer?

PERSEUS: Oh, I think Achilles took it.



HERCULES: Motherfucker!



OEDIPUS: You called?

What did Oedipus say whenever he tasted something savoury?

Oo mommy

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Oedipus stubs his toe

"Ow! Fucking hell that hurt!" He exclaims

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

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Did you hear what happened when Oedipus got flu?

He became one sick mother fucker.

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They had to shut down the T-Rex cloning program at the Oedipus Complex.

It was on the news this morning. Apparently, the entire staff was eaten by mother-fucking dinosaurs.

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I told my mom that I have an Oedipus complex.

She asked if I was serious. I told her, "Nah, I'm just fucking with you."

Did you hear about the Greek man who ate his mom’s cat?

He Oedipus.

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An Oedipus slip is where you say one thing...

...and fuck your mother.

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Humanity must have an Oedipus complex

Because they all want to fuck mother nature.

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How did Oedipus convince his mom to have sex with him?

He 'incested'.

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What happens when you give Sigmund Freud and Oedipus a bunch of cocaine?

A mother fucking awesome party.

What is Oedipus' favorite flavor?

Umami.

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Richard Pryor: I got famous for saying "motherfucker". Sam Jackson: I also got famous for saying "motherfucker".

Oedipus: You guys are all talk.

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Inspired by a u/Goshfather writing prompts response

Kotopoulos and Alogos are sitting in a bar in ancient Thebes. Kotopoulos is speaking to his friend saying, “...So I’m looking both ways, and getting ready to cross the street, when all of a sudden—hey, Alogos! Why the long face? I’m tryina tell a story here!”

Suddenly the man sitting on the o...

What is Samuel L. Jackson's favorite Greek tragedy?

Oedipus Rex

There's nothing wrong with being a self-made man...

Unless you have a time machine and an Oedipus complex.

I don't know why they call it the Oedipus Complex.

Banging your mom seems fairly simple.

What does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress?

Q: what does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress?

A: a Freudian slip

The anti-phonetic alphabet

I've been making a list for months of words that can be used to deliberately confuse people over the phone when phonetically reading out letters. Some letters like L are tough so I just added funny words to say.

A - aisle

B - bdellium

C - czar

D - Djibouti, Django, djemb...

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How do you say 'motherfucker' in ancient greek?

Oedipus.

Yo mamma is so ugly...

I don't understand your Oedipus complex.

What do you call a mother f♡<king octopus?

Oedipus

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Samuel Jackson applies for the lead role in a play

All he's told is that it's the Greek tragedy, Oedipus, and after 4 gruelling rounds of auditions, he doesn't get the part.

He initially thinks it's because he's black.

He's later told it's because he's a bad motherfucker.

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What did Samuel L Jackson Say When He Was Asked To Name the First Greek Myth He Was Taught in School.

Oedipus Was the First Motherfucker!

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Another set of Jewish mom jokes

Seeing how my first post had a ~~huuuuge~~ kinda moderate success, here's another set.

Because it seems americains are not aware of the jewish mom stereotype, here is a rough translation of the French Wiki :

> The typical traits of the jewish mom include :
>
> * An exces...

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Rorschach Test

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office for his first appointment. After the initial interview, the shrink decides to ease the man into the process with a simple inkblot test. After a few minutes, however, the shrink calls a halt.

"I think its fairly clear at this point that we're dealing wi...

Since Carrie Fisher's death, I feel sorry for Kylo Ren.

How will he fulfill the other half of his Oedipus complex now?

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I’ve been trying to learn more about Greek mythology…

… but I keep mixing up Sisyphus and Oedipus. I know one fucked his own mother. The other had to roll a boulder up a hill. And believe me, if you knew my mother, you would confuse those two things as well.

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