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Occured Jokes

An accident between a motorcycle and a car occured yesterday.

The cause was determined to be the motorcyclist riding recklessly.

It was wheelie bad.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is a joke my dad told me a long time ago. I hope I don't offend anyone.

A young man was inspired to help out with his church's fundraiser. He asked the preacher if he could participate. The preacher, knowing the young man had a bad stutter, only gave him 3 bibles to sell.

The following day the young man returned asking for more. The preacher gave him 5. The follo...

On 9/11, one of the worst things in American history occured...

Condolences from the UK on Trump winning the election.

An air crash

An air crash occured yesterday. A light plane, Cessna 172 has crashed into a cemetery. The authorities have dug for 20 hours. 300 dead and still counting...

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What did the butt plug say to the other butt plug.

Nothing because the were both up tight assholes.



A variation on the Tampon classic (i.e. they were stuck up cunts). Sorry if this has been done, it just occured to me as I was walking down the street.

Bert and Ernie served as daytime radio hosts for over twenty years.

Bert and Ernie worked together as daytime radio hosts for over twenty years. They'd traded jokes, played pop music and generally made peoples lives a touch brighter as they trundled to their workplace.

Now though, there was a silence on the air. Ernie silently reread the fax from civil defen...

A joke I've known since primary school.

A huge flood occured one day, and an entire town is swallowed up by the water.


A man driving a boat comes by a man that's trying to stay afloat.


**"Quick, get on my boat!",** he said.


The semi-drowning man replies that God will send him help and save him. And so the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The navy caught a pirate armada.

The admiral of the navy went to interrogate the pirate captain. He noticed that the captain was missing a leg, had a hook on a hand and was wearing an eyepatch. So he asked him the story behind them.
The pirate captain said, "I lost the hand 5 years ago, while fighting with the English army. So I...

German Hell and Italian Hell

Mario Schultz dies. He was an awful person, therefore he goes straight to Hell where he stands in front of the Devil.

"Welcome to Hell, mr. Schultz" says the Devil "it occured to me that you have both german and italian citizenships: according to ILODAD (International Law On Destination After...

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