UPJOKE
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3 drunk mice

3 mice are up late at night, drinking and bullshitting, as mice often do. Just eating cheese bits and chasing them down with copious amounts of alcohol.

They begin to brag about how tough they are relating various experiences evading the cat, the exterminator and other adventures, each one...

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So this panda is driving down a road,

And he sees a prostitute standing on the corner, he thinks ' cor im gonna have some of that' and he stops to pick her up. 'Fancy a good time hun?'
'well i would, but im a panda and i dont have a house'
'i know a place' so he lets her in and they drive off. They get back to hers and make their ...

A joke that works on both sides of the Atlantic.....

A young man is on his first date with his girl, they park up near a wood and start making out. He nibbles her neck.... gently bites her nipples.... licks erotically down her stomach to the top line of her panties..... “Oh yes”, she screams....”kiss me where it smells!”

So he drives her to Bir...

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A Mississippi Girl is flying on an airplane for the first time when...

...a smartly-dressed older woman sits down and arranges herself in the seat next to the girl.

"So, where y'all from?" the girl asks cheerfully.

The woman slowly takes out a handkerchief, dabs at her forehead and the corners of her mouth, and clears her throat before answering...
...

Three ladies on a park bench

"There are three birds on a wire," the female teacher says, "and one gets shot down. how many are left?"

"None," says Johnny.

"Why do you say that Johnny?"

"Because the gunshot would scare the others away."

"Well. the correct answer is two, but I like the way you think, J...

Me and my girlfriend had a party to go to last night..

My girlfriend and I had a party to go to last night, so we thought we'd nip to the shops to get some food to cook up and line our stomachs with.

So we got to the supermarket, collected all of our ingredients and what not, but then when we approached the checkouts there was a massive line, an...

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