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NEWSFLASH: Dwayne Johnson to purchase Fiskars!

Yep: Rock Pays for Scissors
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A man is driving down a highway when he hears a newsflash:

"A warning to all drivers: We've just heard that a vehicle is driving down **US-61** in the wrong direction!"
"What do you mean, 'a vehicle'?" grumbles the driver. "There's hundreds of them!"
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Newsflash: A Barber gets arrested for drug possession.

An acquaintance says, "I've known this guy for years, and I didn't know he was a barber."
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Newsflash! A small, 2-seat aircraft crashed in a graveyard in Poland.

Rescuers have found 115 dead so far and expect to find hundreds more as they continue digging.
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Newsflash! Tanker truck carrying brine has crashed and spilled its contents all over the highway.

Motorists are reported to be in a pickle.
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