Move On Jokes - 15 Hilarious Move On Jokes

Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

Moving On (Original joke)

It's been tough with my wife gone. It took me a while but I decided it was time to give her a proper burial, and move on. She put up on hell of a fight but eventually I got her in the coffin.

How do you make a chimney sweep get a move on?

Just light a fire under his ass!

"Donald says he wants to run for President and move on into the White House...

...why not; it wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family out of their home" -Snoop Dogg

I had a hot girlfriend but then she sent me an email in Helvetica and I had to move on.

Not my type

A man walks into an Indian restaurant.

The waiter asks, “have you ever ordered here before?”

The man replies, “No, I haven’t.”

The waiter continues, “We’re a little different here. Before you order, I need you read and sign this form,” and he hands a piece of paper to the man.

The man squints at the paper and reads t...

How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends on how clumsy you are.

*There, I've killed it. Move on /r/jokes, move on.*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bros, friends, amigos... If she gives you this for her address, just go ahead and move on. Toss that cocktail napkin away. Move on. THere's other fish in the sea. (feel free to add to the list)

• Drinkand Dr.

• Vicious Circle

• West 943,185th Street

• Psycho Path

• Peoples Ct.

• Nofriggin Way

Betty White Has Passed Away…

The Queen and Keith Richards move on to the Finals

I was waiting for a girl to make a move on me, but it was taking her too long

Then I found out she was a Chess Player

A good psychologist once advised me to shut out all the negative people that remind me of my dark past and move on

It's been more than a month since I've gone to him and I am already starting to feel better

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Putin is sitting in his office when his telephone rings

"Hallo, Mr. Putin!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well, Paddy," Putin replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right...

One day in the future, Donald Trump has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil.

“You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hurricane is headed for a small town. The news says that everyone needs to evacuate. A religious man in the town says "I'm not going to leave my home, God will protect me".

The hurricane hits, and it's bad. There's mass flooding, and the police come to the man's door and tell him he needs to leave. The man says "I'm not afraid, God will protect me." The police give up and leave him.

The water rises in his house, so the man is forced to climb onto his roof. Just...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly man suspects that his wife may be losing her hearing

He knows his wife doesn't want to accept the fact that she is getting older and isn't as youthful as she used to be. So he goes to the doctor himself to ask if anything can be done about it.

Man: Doc, I think my wife may be losing her hearing. Is there anything I can do for her?

Docto...

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