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My sister and I went home to Alabama for mothers day to visit and we were out shopping for a gift for mom when a guy walks by and slaps my sister in the ass. I reacted quick and gave him the ol' one two.

Because no one slaps my girls ass but me.

Mothers day scultpures

Ellis and Chris are up late carving sculptures of a mother holding a baby for their Mothers Day stall.

All of them look the same the only differences are the flowers in the mother's hair.

Chris tells a story to Ellis about his favorite flower and why.

*Ellis rolls his eyes*
...

Mothers have Mothers day, father's have Father's day, couples have Valentine's day

and I have Palm Sunday.

A bit late for Mothers day but still.

In elementary school, all the kids get an assignment to write an essay on the topic "There is only one Mom".

So little Ivica did his one, and the next day, the teacher goes around asking the kids to read out their essays. She asks little Ivica. He goes:

"So yesterday when I got home fr...

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So I was out shopping for a Mothers Day gift for tommorow

I bet that scared the shit out of you

My wife just had the best Mothers Day EVER. She had all three meals served to her in bed, people waited on her hand and foot, and she didn't do any cooking, cleaning, or taking care of the kids.

Of course, she's in the hospital :(

What i told my wife for mothers day...

I said baby you're so ABCDEFGHIJK. Then she said to me what does that mean. I told her it means
Amazing
Beautiful
Cunning
Dazzling
Elegant
Faithful
Gorgeous
Hot

She then said awe thanks so much but what does IJK mean.
I replied it means I'm Just Kidding.
I then ...

Mothers Day Prank Suggestion

I played this simple and harmless joke on my mum a few years back and the family still laughs about it. Here you go:

Go to the local greenhouse or place that sells plants. Buy a really nice flower pot (empty) and a bag of potting soil. This is the key, while you are there snag one of the tags...

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A special joke for Mothers Day

What's the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your mum cant take a joke.

I can't wish my mom a Happy Mothers Day

because she doesn't have Facebook. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This mothers day send the gift of Microsoft Office

Word to your mother

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My wife said sex has become a chore.

So for mothers day I've hired her some help.

In case you wondered, Fathers Day is to thank Dad for nailing your mother.

Mothers Day is to thank Mom for not swallowing you

Mother: (noun) 1.One person who does the work of 20. For free

Happy Mothers Day all Mommy's out there ! :)

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