This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl in Japan had an older sister who owned a car company. What was that company?

Nee-san

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A father has a suspicion that his son might be gay

Before I tell the joke I don't mean to offend anyone and if anyone finds it offensive I'll remove it right away

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A father one day catches his son listening to liza minnelli and he says "son, you know typically homosexual men listen to liza minnelli. Son, are you a homosexu...

What did Emma Watson say when she fell over?

Ouch, I hur-my-nee

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A class of children return to school after Christmas.

The teacher asks each child in turn to tell her what gifts they received. Little Paul replies "I got a choo-choo" "Now Paul," replies the teacher, " you're in the big school now, we call it a train not a choo-choo"

She turns to Tommy. "what did you get?" "A nee-naw", replies Tommy. "Now Tommy...

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A man breaks his leg, and is going to miss a lot of work.

He and his wife are desperately trying to figure out how they'll pay his medical bills, not to mention their mortgage and car payments which are going to be due soon.

Finally, the man hesitantly says "Listen, honey, you know I love you, but we're desperate, here. I can only think of one way w...

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[nsfw] Voodoo Dick (Long)

Lucia popped into her local South American produce shop on the way home from work (it was enchilada night). While browsing she got a call from her bff Natalie and spent some time talking about the recent divorce, and her lack of sex life. Shortly after hanging up, she was approached by the store cle...

A mom takes her son to the doctor one day.

The mom says, "my child's knee hurts." The doctor says, "okay you should take him to the nephrologist then."

The mom looks confused and is about to ask why, when the doctor says, "... it's a kid-nee problem."

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In 1859, there was this German Chemist living in London, England.

One day he received a new batch of experimental powder from Columbia. Curious to find out what the substance was, he opened the package and it erupted in a puff of powder. After inhaling half the cloud the Chemist felt vibrant, energised and happy.

“I hast not seen ziss beefore”, thought t...

Say ONO.

Now ONU.

Now ONI.

Now ONA.

Now ONE.

You just said oh-nee, didn't you?

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Not part of the retirement plans.

A man takes early retirement and leaves the big
city for a crofter’s cottage in the Scottish
Highlands. After a month of isolation he hears a
knock on his door. He answers it and sees an
enormous Scottish farmer standing outside. ‘I
hear you’re new around here,’ says the farmer,
‘Y...

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