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Hee Jokes

Why doesn't Michael Jackson drink coffee?

Because he prefers "Tea-hee!"

Me: Hey did you hear about Maya Hee?

My fiance: Maya Who

Me: Maya Ha Ha

The Mother Superior assembles all the nuns in the refectory

"Sisters," says the Mother Superior grimly, "while we were gardening this morning, we found a discarded condom!"

99 nuns: \*horrified gasp\*

one nun: \*tee-hee\*

"And," adds the Mother Superior, "it had been *used!*"

99 nuns: \*horrified gasp\*

one nun: \*tee-hee\*...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I sexually identify as Michael Jackson

My pronouns are He/Hee

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little girl goes to the barber shop with hee father.

While Dad gets his hair cut, the little girl stands next to his chair, eating a snack cake.

Her father looks down at her and says, " Honey, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."

She nods and says, "I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too!"

My 3 sons placed 1st, 2nd and 3rd in a talent contest judged by Lee Kun-hee

Jake juggled, Daniel danced and Sam sung

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Private is standing outside smoking

A Private is standing outside in the smoking area, joking around with one of his buddies.

A young Lieutenant walks up to them, and asks "Private, have you got change for a dollar?"

The private looks over at him, and replies " Yea sure buddy, no problem".

The Lieutenant stares a...

Q: What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive today in 2022?

A: Knocking on the lid of his coffin.

Hee hee!

What is Yoda’s last name?

Lay Hee Hoo

This whole time yoda has never revealed his last name. but I just found out

Layheehoo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A schoolyard bully is picking on a nerd and says, "Hey, loser, see that guy over there? He told me your mother fucked a donkey, and you're the result!"

The nerd gets upset and says, "Ignore him! Hee-haw, hee-haw, hehaways says that."

Whats the first thing Michael Jackson does when he spawns in on Minecraft?

He punches a trhee-hee

What's Michael Jacksons favorite gaming console?

Nintendo Wii-heeee

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ethel and Ben are neighbors in a nursing home...

One day, they're sitting in the TV room and Ethyl says, "Ben, I bet I can tell you how old you are if I feel your private parts for just half a minute."
"Hee hee. Even a doctor couldn't do that but you're welcome to try," he replies, unbuttoning his trousers. She leans over and gives his tackle a...

What sound does a Swiss donkey make on a mountain?

Yodel-ay-hee-haw

The mother superior gathers her convent...

...She says sisters I have some bad news. We found a condom. And all the nuns gasp and one goes tee hee. Mother superior continues and the condom has a hole in it. All the nuns go tee hee and the one nun gasps.

Michael Jackson and his wife didn’t get “his” and “hers” towels.

Nope. Instead, they got “she” and “HEE HEE HEEEE”

Where did Michael Jackson like to vacation at?

Ta-Hee-Hee

I have an extremely rare phobia of Michael Jackson joining the group that sang "Stayin' Alive."

It gives me the Hee-Hee Bee Gees.

I went to sign up for yodelling lessons

We had to form an orderly orderly orderly lee hee queue

Doc, is it a he or a she?

Dr Jackson: "Its a Hee-Hee"

The Chinese Premier, along with the South Korean and Indonesia President Went to See God

In 1975, Zhou Enlai, Park Chung-hee, and Suharto came before God to ask a question.

Zhou Enlai went first: "God, when will my country become prosperous?"

God replied: "30 more years".

Zhou Enlai wept because he knew he will never see it in his lifetime. Indeed, he would pass awa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men walk into a bar

When they sit down, one of the men says, "Hey bartender! 2 shots! And the ass here is paying for it!" Motioning to the other guy. The bartender looks confused but gets them their shots.

About 10 minutes later, the bartender hears from across the bar, "Hey bartender! 2 MORE shots! And the ass ...

Mating call of a blonde...

"Hee hee, I think I'm a little drunk!"

Luke had a sister, and a trainer toooooo!

*Leia, Yoda, Leia, YODA, LEIA HEE HOOOOOO*

What's the difference between a teeter totter on a ranch and a donkey's grandpa?

One's a yee haw seesaw and the other is a hee haw peepaw.

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