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Military Man Jokes

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What does a military man do during sex?

He tactically inserts his unit.

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What do you call a military man's premature ejaculation?

A dishonorable discharge.

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A young military man is standing outside having a smoke

A Private is standing outside in the smoking area, joking around with one of his buddies.

A young Lieutenant walks up to them, and asks "Private, have you got change for a dollar?"

The private looks over at him, and replies " Yea sure buddy, no problem".

The Lieutenant stares at...

The military man survived mustard gas and pepper spray

He's a seasoned veteran

A Jewish military man from Israel told me this joke.

Deep in the desert. Mehmet, an Arab fighter (or militant, if you will) chases an Israeli soldier, let's call him Moshe, with an AK47 gun.

Mehmet closes on Moshe and starts firing at him but misses. The chase continues through the desert, there's quite a lot of firing from Mehmet and quite a l...

HELP: Trying to write a joke

I hope this doesn't go against any sub rules. I'm ok if it gets deleted.

So, I had an idea pop into my head last night, and I need some help in fleshing out the body of the joke.

It would go something like this:

A man and his son are walking near (body of water) on Christmas Day...

Please enjoy my best ever Star Wars themed joke...

Irving was proud of his daughter Faith. She was the prettiest, smartest, most charming girl in all the Empire. And when Faith was asked to attend the Winter Gala by Conan Antonio, Irving was justifiably pleased, for Conan was a well-decorated and many-times-promoted military man of great respect....

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Spotted Snakes

I read this a long time ago.

A Captain takes over a command during WW2 in the middle of the Pacific.

As he is looking through the reports, he finds morale in the basement, a few desertions, and the base is rampant with STD's.

He calls his top Sergeant in for an explanation. The...

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