UPJOKE
michelangelochapelbasilicaaltarcathedralnaveapsechurchapostolic palacepope julius iisack of romepapal conclavesynagoguetabernacleabbey

While Michelangelo was painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel....

One day, he looked down from the scaffolding to see a solitary old woman kneeling in a pew, praying.

Since the woman could not see him, Michelangelo decided to have a little fun, and he called out, "I am Jesus Christ, hear me!"

The woman did not look up, and continued praying. So, Mic...
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The Sistine Chapel ceiling may not be the greatest work of art ever, but

it's definitely up there.
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What is the building opposite the Sistine Chapel?

The Fifteen Chapel.
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God spoke to me in the Sistine Chapel

Kept saying “Quiet, Quiet, No Photos Please”
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Donald Trump was admiring the Sistine chapel

Trump : this is the bestest painting I’ve ever seen

Docent : yes indeed Mr. President , it was painted by Michaelangelo ..

Trump : I know the fake news media makes me look like an idiot but I’m not foolish to believe that it was painted by a freaking turtle
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A devout Catholic and his friend go to the Vatican...

and the friend gets really hungry, so he buys a bag of roasted peanuts from a street vendor. Being used to his local bar customs, he begins to throw the peanut shells on the floor of the Sistine Chapel.

They are fortunate enough to attend a Mass conducted by the Pope himself. After the se...

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