UPJOKE
dullmattacrylicsemiglossflatnessflatmatlusterlessnesslacquerwatercolorpaintshinyvarnishgouachelatex

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter what you call it. It won’t come over anyway.

I'm thinking of making a series of non-gloss self portrait dinner placemats

I'll name it My Multitude of Matte Mats of Matt by Matt

Pedro gets a New Secretary.

Pedro gets a New Secretary.
He faces a volley of rapid fire questions from his wife, who is always a bit suspicious of her husband’s roving eye.

Dora (Pedro's wife): “Does your new secretary have nice legs?"

Pedro: “Didn’t quite notice."

Dora: "What color are her eyes?"
...

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