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Massaging Jokes

Wife was massaging her husband's head.

Wife : you always ask for a head massage. Wonder who gave it to you before marriage.

Husband : well no one did , I didn't need one since there was no headache!

Massaging the wife

Italian : Last night I massaged my wife with the finest olive oil, then we made love and I made her scream non stop 5 minutes.

French : Last night I massaged my wife with special aphrodisiac oil, then we made passionate love. I made her scream 15 minutes.

American : Thats nothing! Last...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Massage therapist at the bank

I man was waiting in at his bank and he started massaging the shoulders of the man standing in front of him. The man turned around and said, "What are you doing?!" The massage therapist said, "Oh, I'm a massage therapist and I thought I'd get some practice in while I waited in line." The other man s...

There's this weird guy that keeps massaging people in my school

I don't know why but he rubs me the wrong way.

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Swedish Massage

A young guy was laying on his back on a massage table, wearing only a towel over his groin.
A young and stunning attractive Swedish girl was massaging his shoulders, then his chest, and gradually worked her way down his body. The guy was getting sexually excited as she approached the towel. The ...

"Massage pinis."

Sam during a vacation to Thailand, ordered a massage session in his room. One for his wife and one for himself.

After massaging Sam for a while, the Thai girl said, "Massage pinis".

Sam felt awkward, but kept quiet, looking shiftily at his wife.

The Thai masseur again said, "Ma...

While playing the depressing part of a videogame, my close pal Xavier suddenly starts massaging my crotch

I've never been so touched on an emotional level.

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NSFW - A woman is out playing golf one day

She swings and her ball goes flying and hits a man, who immediately grabs his crotch and falls to the ground, writhing in agony. The woman runs over and says "I'm a nurse, please let me help you!" and she reaches into his pants and starts massaging his penis. The nurse asks the man "how does that ...

A friend went for Thai massage in Bangkok recently.

A friend went for Thai massage in Bangkok recently. He requested for two masseurs, one for him and another for his wife.

After massaging the man for a long time, the Thai massuer said, "Massage pinis". He kept ghastly quiet pretending not to have heard it.

Again, the massuer repeated h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man starts his own business

Within a few months his business grows to the point where he needs to hire two employees. He hires a woman named Sarah and a man named Jack. Things are good.

A year goes by and the little company's sales are sagging. The owner realizes that there is not enough work for his two em...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young boy walks in on his sister masturbating with a vibrator.

Innocent and confused about the anatomy, he asks, "What are you doing? Where is your penis?"



Not wanting to explain the real stuff, the sister replied, "I lost mine in an accident. I was just massaging the wound. "



The boy says, "You should learn from mom. She keeps her...

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