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A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.

"Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.

"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it a...

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A masochist, a sadist, and a redditor walk into a bar...

The masochist gets excited and walks into it again.
The sadist grins and sits back to watch.
The redditor groans in pain, wondering who put it there and writes a better joke in the comments.

I told my psychologist that I'm a masochist.

He said I shouldn't beat myself up over it.

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What did the masochist say to the sadist?

"Hurt me."

What did that sadist respond?
"No."

how do you tell the difference between a nerd and a masochist

ask them who their dungeon master is

I'm a masochist. There's nothing I love more than getting up at 3 in the morning for a cold shower.

So I don't.

2 masochists went to a BDSM convention

The convention was doing a special showcase of some dominatrixes who were considered the best at their job, they were all on separate booths where they would give out free samples and show off their techniques.

On the first day the more experienced masochist wanted to go to the woman with th...

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A Sadist and a Masochist were walking down the beach together…

The masochist turns to the sadist and says, β€œBeat me…beat me!”

And the sadist says, β€œNo.”

My wife left me because I am a masochist

What a professional

Being a masochist, I like nothing better than starting the day with a freezing cold shower.

So I have a hot one.

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"Hey masochist, why do you spend so much time with the sadist?"

"Beats me."

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A sadist tells tells a masochist to walk into a bar

They both enjoy it

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A masochist walks out onto the street, screaming "Please, hurt me, please!"

As he tears his shirt and wails out, a crowd gathers around him, until finally, a sadist steps forward.

Once more, the man screams to him, pleading "Please, hurt me, I need it!"

To which, the sadist walks around him in a circle, smirks at him, and says "No".

All credit to my o...

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A masochist is someone who yells, "Beat me! Hurt me!"

A sadist is someone who replies, "Noooooo......"

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A sadist married a masochist.

On their wedding night the masochist threw herself on the bed and cried, beat me.
To which the sadist replied, no I won't.

What's the difference btwn a mosquito and a masochist

A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

What's a masochist's favorite drink?

Champain

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A murderer, a sadist, an arsonist, a rapist, a zoophiliac, a necrophiliac, and a masochist were sitting in a room together.

"We should kill a pig," says the murderer. "We should set the pig on fire and then kill it", says the arsonist. "We should fuck the pig and then set it on fire and then kill it", says the zoophiliac. "We should torture the pig and then fuck it and then set it on fire and then kill it," says the sadi...

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There's a sadist, a zoophile, a murderer, a necrophiliac, an arsonist and a masochist all sitting around a table in a mental institution.

Suddenly the sadist says, let's torture a cat. Then the zoophile says yeah let's torture a cat and then have sex with it. Then the murderer says, let's torture a cat, have sex with it and then kill it. The necrophiliac follows up with, let's torture a cat, have sex with it, kill it and then have sex...

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A sadist, a rapist, a murderer, an arsonist, a necrophile and a masochist see a cat in the street

The sadist proclaims loudly, "I want to torture that cat."

Not to be easily outdone, the rapist says, "I want to torture that cat and then fuck it."

Following suit, the murderer says "I want to torture the cat, fuck it and then kill it."

The arsonist says, "I wanna torture the c...

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A masochist asks a sadist to hurt him...

...the sadist, smiling, walks away.

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A sadist and a masochist pass each other on the street.

The masochist recognizes the sadist for their nature and says with anticipation, 'Beat me.'

The sadist begins to smile and say to the masochist, 'No.'

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A Masochist asks a Sadist to Continue Hurting Him

A true sadist says "No!"

What is a masochistics favorite vegetable?

The artichoke

What does a masochistic robot enjoy?

Cog and bolt torture

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What is the difference between erotic and kinky sex?

A sadist, a masochistic, a murderer, a necrophilic, a zoophilic and a pyromaniac sit in the garden of psychiatry and are terribly bored.

Once the zoophile sounds:
- What if we fucked a cat?

For this, the sadist:
-Yes, let's fuck him and then torture him well.

The mur...

I asked my masochist friend why he stays with his wife in a loveless marriage.

He just shrugged and said, β€œbeats me”.

What do you call a bunch of masochists on an ocean voyage?

A bruise cruise

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Two guys meet in a bar, and over drinks, one of them turns to the other and says, "Erm, I have to confess something, I'm a masochist, I like it when people hurt me."

The other guy says, "Really? I'm a sadist, I like to hurt people, want to come
home with me?"

They get to the sadists house, and into the basement, where the walls are
lined with whips and implements for causing pain, and the masochist is
overwhelmed with joy. He takes off his shirt,...

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We are all masochists when we poop or have sex

It hurts at first but it feels great later

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Did you hear about the sadist who married the masochist?

They both lived unhappily ever after!

I’m a masochist

There’s nothing I love more than punching myself in the face.... So I don’t

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A sadist, masochist, arsonist and a murderer are sitting in a park next to each other.

A cat walks by and the murderer's instincts kick in:

"Lets kill the fucking cat!"

The sadist immediately disagrees:

"No lets torture it and THEN kill it!"

Arsonist chimes in:

"No! Come on you guys, lets torture it burn all its fur and THEN kill it!"

The maso...

Why did the masochist cross the road?

To get hit by a car.

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A sadist and a masochist become stranded on a deserted island.

Masochist: Torture me, please!

Sadist: Nope...

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A rapist, a zoophile, a pedophile, a sadist, a necrophile, a pyromaniac, and a masochist are all standing in a jail cell. .

The rapist: "I'd like to fuck something."

The zoophile: "A cat?"

The pedophile: "Even better, a kitten."

The sadist: "How about we beat the kitten up, and THEN have sex with it?"

The necrophiliac: "Alright let's beat a kitten to DEATH, and then have sex with it."

T...

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A zoophiliac, a murderer, a necrophiliac, a pyromaniac and a masochist are sitting together in a prison cell...

The zoophiliac looks around himself and muses:

"Damn, I wish there was a cat around here... ya know, we could... fuck the cat."

His inmates nod in agreement. The murderer then says:

"Or we could fuck it, and then kill it!"

The necrophiliac turns to the others and, grinni...

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A sadist and a masochist meet for some kinky time

They go to the sadist's room, full of whips, clips, bondage stuff etc. The sadist slowly goes from one device to the next, eyeing the masochist.

The masochist can't take it anymore and blurts out "Oh yes master, whip me, spank me, hurt me!"

And the sadist, with an evil, horny grin,...

I punched a masochist so hard he got a black eye

He punched back.
Now he has two.

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A sadist and a masochist got together.

The masochist goes, "Torture me! Torture me!"

The sadist goes, "Nope."

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What's a masochist's favorite place to go have fun?

An Abusement Park

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A sadist takes a masochist to his dungeon

He cuffs the masochist to the wall, blindfolds him, and asks him a minute to test the quality of his equipment.

He starts whiping the air, to check his whip's durability. He realizes it's fine. He then proceeds to sharpening his knives, until they cut perfectly. After that, he moves the cogs ...

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A masochist and a sadist once married..

They did not know what the other person was and like every happy married life, they did not talk about each other's feelings. The sadist hit the masochist in bed every night and the masochist cried out in happiness that his wife could cater to his needs without him asking for it. The marriage worked...

Why are masochist gathering in French bakeries?

Because they're full of pains.

It's not fun competing with masochists with foot fetishes.

They really like the taste of defeat.

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I bought some masochistic butter today.

It came whipped.

A masochist walks into a construction yard

A masochist walks into a construction yard and a breeze block falls onto his head only to miraculously split into two. A nearby construction worker exclaims in amazement to the masochist that "You must be as hard as a rock". The masochist replied saying "You have no idea".

If Hank Hill were a masochist...

He would be Pro-pain.

Guess what the dominatrix said to the masochist.

You'll kick yourself when I tell you...

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A zoophile, a sadist, a necrophile, a pyromaniac and a masochist hang out together...

Zoophile: "We should fuck a cat"

Sadist: "Yeah and after that we torture it to death"

Necrophile: "Awesome idea! And when it's dead we will fuck it again"

Pyromaniac: "And wenn we're done we just set that molested animal on fire!"

Then the Masochist clears his throat and ...

A crackhead and a masochist are in a prison cell...

They both have life sentences for one reason or another and are pretty hopeless overall. One day the masochist chops his finger off and throws it out of the cell just because he is bored. Then a few minutes later he chops his arm up to the elbow and throws it out of the cell. He repeats this action ...

Never believe a masochist cannibal

They are so full of themselves.

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A bestiality enthusiast, an arson, a sadist, a necrophile, and a masochist are right outside a psych ward when a cat passes by.

The beastialty enthusiast says "let's fuck the cat," the arsonist says, "let's fuck the cat, then burn it," the sadist says, "let's fuck the cat, burn the cat, then kill it," then the necrophile says, "let's fuck the cat, burn the cat, kill the cat, then fuck it again," and finally the masochist say...

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A murderer, a necropheliac, a pyromaniac, and a masochist are at a bus stop when a cat walks by...

The murderer says "lets kill it"

The necropheliac says "lets kill it then have some fun with the remains"'

The pyromaniac says "You sick bastard... lets pour gasoline on it and light it up"

The masochist says "meow"

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A sadist and a masochist are in a room together

The masochist says "Hurt me!"

The sadist responds "No."

(Courtesy of my social 30-1 teacher)

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A zoophile, a pyromaniac, a necrophile and a masochist are siiting on a bench...

... in a park. The zoophile comes up with a twisted idea:
"Let's find a cat and fuck its brains out", he says.
"Yeah, and then let's burn it to a crisp!", adds the pyro.
"Brilliant idea, so we can fuck it, burn it, then fuck it again", says the necrophile.
The masochist's eyes light up a...

Why would anyone want to be a masochist?

Beats me

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A zoophiliac, a pyromaniac, a necrophilliac, a pedophile and a masochist are in the loony bin.

Zoophilliac: Let's fuck a cat!

Pedophile: Make it a kitten!

Pyromaniac: Before we fuck it we burn it!

Necrophilliac: Yes! we fuck it after it's dead!

Everyone is jumping in excitement, then look at the masochist.

Masochist: MEEEEEEEOOOWWWWWWW.

I've worked in a masochistic shop for years.

It's painfully boring.

What does a french masochist say after getting beaten up?

Merci

I took my masochistic girlfriend to the casino, but she lost all my money.

She kept screaming β€œHit me!” at the blackjack table.

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A masochist, a sadist, a necrophile and a pyromaniac are walking down the street.

They see a cat.

Sadist: "God, I just wanna tear this cat to shreads, and have his blood all over the place."

Pyromaniac: "Yea, and after that we can set his pieces on fire!"

Necrophile: "And after that maybe we can take the ashes and make sweet sweet love to them?"


Ma...

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A sadist and a masochist meet in a club.

Sadist: Hi, I'm a sadist.
Masochist: Hi, I'm a masochist. Do you want to come to my house?
Back at the masochist 's house and the masochist is tied down to the bed ready to begin.
Masochist: Whip me! Beat me! Do anything you want to me!!
Sadist: No.

[Formatting?]

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A sadist, a rapist, a murderer, a necrophiliac, and a masochist were all sitting together on a park bench...

...The sadist said "hey, I got an idea. Why don't we get a cat and torture it?" The rapist replied "yeah, we can torture it and have sex with it after!" The murder enthusiastically chimed in "and then we kill the thing!" and the necrophiliac added "yeah, and have sex with again after it's dead!" The...

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In a mental asylum for the criminally insane there is a masochist, a zoophile, a sadist, a murderer, a necrophiliac and a pyromaniac...

The zoophile says "Lets get a cat and fuck it!"

The sadist sadist says "Yeah, lets get a cat fuck it and torture it!"

The murderer says "Lets get a cat fuck it and torture it and kill it!"

The necrophiliac says "Lets get a cat fuck it and torture it and kill it and then fuck it...

Did you hear about that masochistic bully?

He was just begging to get punched

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A zoophile, a necrophiliac, a hunter and a masochist...

A zoophile, a necrophiliac, a hunter and a masochist get together in a group.

The hunter says: Alright, the zoophile, you fuck a dog, okay?

The zoophile agrees. The hunter says: "Then I shoot it, okay? Then the necrophiliac fucks the dog, which is now dead, is that cool?

The nec...

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A zoophile, a sadist, a murderer, a necromaniac, a pyromaniac, and a masochist are sitting around...

And for some reason they are talking about cats.

The zoophile says, "let's get a cat and have sex with it".

The sadist agrees, "yes! Let's screw it and the torture it!"

Then the murderer chimes in, "we can fuck it, torture it, and then kill it!"

Next the necrophiliac says...

What do you call a masochist looking for a hookup?

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

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Masochist meets sadist

Masochist meets sadist. "Torture me", saids masochists. Sadist replies: "No way"

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